Trump Guilty – Not The Big Win You Think It Is

It’s big news, possibly from the littlest story. Certainly from the weakest of the trials against the former president.

News sites have been saying things like, “Donald Trump found guilty in hush money case” and thereby showing part of the problem here. It isn’t a hush money trial. The idea of a court case based on payments to an adult actress is great. It’s the plot of a good episode of a TV drama.

It’s not what we have just had. It’s not illegal in America to pay someone hush money and so it shouldn’t be. Firstly, I have worked with a few Americans and I often wish they were being paid to hush. But you can’t criminalise hush money or you’d be blaming the victim in a blackmail case for paying up.

The case all comes down to how payments were recorded. It’s an accounting thing. And if it is so easy to make the court case look like a misdirection, done by someone who is not a Trump fan, imagine the hay Trump supporters can make with this.

If you swing for the king you’d better not miss, or at least if you find Donald Trump to be a convicted felon, you’d better make sure it’s the case that is impactful and sticks.

The timing is awkward. It’s around six months before he goes head-to-head with Joe Biden. Will this scupper his chances? Of course not. This is a man who famously said he could walk onto Fifth Avenue and shoot someone and get away with it, and accountancy isn’t seen as deadly as shooting someone. Actually, there are parts of America that love their guns more than their accountants, so I’ll take that point back.

While some swaying voters will be put off by the idea of voting for a criminal the core vote, the base as they call it with Trump, are reinforced by news like this. The victim-in-chief loves to make out that everything is unfair towards him. In round one, up against Hillary Clinton, he gave us terms like “fake news” and made the press out to be the bad guys. That was helpful because when the press raise some issue he can they avoiding addressing it by calling the press names. An ad hominem against anyone who is a qualified journalist.

So imagine how this feeds into phase two, that the deep state is going after him. It was a weak sauce case.

Do most people think he slept with Stormy? God, yes. Probably even the evangelical right. But he got them their abortion rights win, so don’t blame the sinner, right? Well, unless that sinner needs an abortion. Anyway...

Do people think he used money, through his fixer, to try to make the story go away? Yeah, I bet they do. You’d expect it. It’s the polite thing to do.

Do people think that falsifying business records is a serious crime? No, because it’s not. Normally that would be a misdemeanour. You'd be given a fine, probably for less money that you saved cooking the books and that's how justice works.

Only if you line up all of the events, tie it to the outcome of the US election and have a following wind can you make it sound like a felony. It’ll work for the people who already didn’t like Trump and it proves he’s right to claim he’s a victim to those who already think he’s somehow both the messiah AND a very naughty boy.

He was found guilty of all 34 counts he faced. Unanimity was required for any verdict. WHy didn't they just find him guilty of, say 30 of them? It would be harder for the Trump die-hards to make out it was rigged.

Trump faces a maximum sentence of four years in prison, which doesn’t prevent him from running for the presidency and being president while in jail. It could mean he has to pick Red from Shawshank Redemption as his VP.

All we know so far is that this won’t be the end of it. Trump already spoke to the press (the fake news press?) and said that he was "a very innocent man". Now we’re living in a world where there are gradations of innocence.

Let’s hope the circus that follows this case doesn’t ruin things for the subsequent cases, which are more serious that paying money to get a porn star to close her mouth, for once, and the paperwork you have to do following that.

» Read the source story

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Trump’s Doing ‘Fine’ Now

Donald Trump, the former US president and self-proclaimed billionaire (we’ve all done a self assessment form, Donny), has been ordered to cough up nearly £281m to New York state for lying about the value of his real estate empire.

I suppose the difference is that on a self assessment form you make it look like you’re earning less so you pay less tax, Donald made it look like he had more money.

Trump was found guilty of business fraud by Judge Arthur Engoron, who also banned him from being a company director or borrowing money from banks in the state for three years.

That part of the punishment won’t bother Trump at all. He won’t need to borrow money for three years, his release date won’t be till 2036.

The judge said Mr Trump and his cronies had inflated the worth of their properties by hundreds of millions of dollars to secure favourable loans and tax breaks, while deflating them to avoid paying their fair share of taxes.

This kind of thing is what business people probably do all the time but it’s either (I) you expect better from elected leaders or (ii) don’t get caught.

In a scathing 92-page ruling (which means Trump won’t read it), Judge Engoron said Mr Trump and his co-defendants, including his two adult sons Donald Jr and Eric, had shown "complete lack of contrition and remorse" and were likely to continue their "fraudulent ways" unless he imposed a "significant" penalty.

Mr Trump, who narrowly escaped having some of his companies dissolved, which could have led to bankruptcy, said he would appeal the ruling, calling it a "political witch hunt" by the "crooked" judge.

So they nailed that “lack of contrition and remorse” bit.

Speaking from his Florida resort, Mar-a-Lago, where he spends most of his time golfing and ranting on social media, Mr Trump said: "I'm the best president ever, and everyone knows it. I won the election by a landslide, but they stole it from me. They're all very bad people. Very bad."

That last bit might not be true but it’s a good guess.

Trump supporters say this will make him even more popular. They’re probably right, so I’m sure they’ll stop moaning about it. Maybe.

» Read the source story

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How To Mock Trump Now

What is a satirist to do with Trump?

The news that the President of the United States of America has contracted the coronavirus has left some of us in a difficult position.

Even though we have had to see some pretty shocking news in recent years, most of the topical comedians are still human. You know, deep down. When you hear the news of a man in his seventies contracting a virus that can be fatal to people in that age bracket, you have empathy.

Science tells us that the virus is really tough for those who are overweight. Now, some say Donald Trump lies about his height to bring his BMI down but viruses don’t check paperwork. It’s another reason show concern for someone who is ill.

If we were only listening to the angel that pops up on our shoulder that would be the end of it. But the devil on the other shoulder loves to point out the hypocrisy. When a man who has belligerently said the coronavirus would be gone by the summer catches it in autumn, it’s worth a mention.

When someone who has recently said publicly that COVID-19 affects “almost no one” gets affected by it, how can we not sarcastically say, “So you’re calling yourself a no one?”

He held rallies where his supporters defiantly refused to wear a mask. That’s because the wearing of a bit of fabric over your breathing parts as a small effort to help everyone else has become a political issue.

It was surprising as Donald has been known as a germaphobe for quite some time. Most germaphobes would like people to wear masks even when there’s no pandemic but the political capital to be gained by making the “do-gooders” seem bad was too tempting. And look where it’s got him.

Even the most sympathetic commentator must find irony in the man who said to use bleach as a cure is now in a hospital using proper drugs suggested by proper doctors. He suggested putting UV light in the body. Did he try putting a sunbed lamp up his botty before trying real drugs?

Just as the poetic irony of the situation starts to entertain there will be a ping on my phone from a news app telling me that doctors say the next 48 hours will be critical for him. That jolts me back to thinking that no matter what point of view someone has held, you shouldn’t make light of something that could cost them their lives.

Show sympathy. That can’t be wrong. And just as soon as I start to think that social media shows me the conspiracy theories that he doesn’t have COVID and he’s only doing this to get out of the future debates. His current narrative is that his opponent Joe Biden is old and frail. If Trump can claim to have had a case of the tough COVID but walked it off in a few days he can look fit by comparison.

Now I don’t want to fall into the trap of giving sympathy if it’s not due but I don’t want to accuse someone of pretending to be ill in case they go on to die.

There was another conspiracy theory that claimed the President was hiding a secret oxygen tank about his person and using a mask to cover the nose attachment. Several mainstream media outlets have claimed that’s nonsense but I remember someone saying those outlets peddled “fake news”. I wonder who could have said that?

What about all of those Trump supporters who claimed that coronavirus was a hoax? Do they see the contradiction of their position or do they think this proves that people can catch made up illnesses. Be careful when you pretend is real, some people could catch that. I’m terrified that I might come down with a case of The Phage from Star Trek Voyager.

I haven’t noticed many Trump supporters saying sorry for thinking this virus that killed over one million people was a hoax. They are too busy saying that Trump critics shouldn’t mock him. They ask how the left would like it if it was one of their figureheads who got ill. Maybe people replied with the clip of Trump mocking Hilary Clinton after we heard she had pneumonia. Even more hypocrisy.

Donald has been rude about people with illnesses and dismissive of the disease he now has. His actions may well have led to more people catching this potential killer. And yet, I still don’t want to mock him. He’s an old man who is ill.

Donald, get will soon, so we can get back to pointing out what a hypocrite you are.

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Trump's Ineptitude

It’s been a fun week of seeing how upset Donald Trump got after being called inept by a UK ambassador.

I didn’t realise that was what ambassadors did. Maybe that's why the buy Ferrero Rocher; it's to say sorry.

Leaked emails from Sir Kim Darroch said Trump's leadership was inept. In all of the criticism of this no one has come out to say that Trump isn't inept. It seems the main objections are that secret documents shouldn't be leaked and you shouldn't call inept people inept because that's rude.

I'm sure Donald Trump didn't get upset right away, but as soon as he slammed that dictionary down he was gunning for us.

Since then he has been on the attack, calling our ambassador "very stupid".

It must feel strange to be someone's least favourite man called Kim when you know that man has met the North Korean dictator.

Here is my confusion. If it isn't OK to call someone inept in a message they thought would be private, how is it OK to call someone stupid in a public tweet to nearly 62 million followers?

Some say you should respect the office of president even if you don't respect the person, but Trump didn't do the same when he tweeted a dig at our Prime Minister implying he was happy she was leaving the job.

Is Trump inept? I don't know. But he is being a hypocrite. He can dish it out but not take it.

There's little we can do, however. We need a trade deal with America and we can't afford to fall out with them.

If we do, at least it will only be a war of words. That's better than a real war. No one gets hurt, we attack each other and it all ends when America develops an F-bomb.

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[Newspaper Column] Trump

Each week the Romford Recorder and Ilford Recorder have the Steve N Allen column. If you're around East London and West Essex you can buy the newspaper every Thursday/Friday, or follow @mrstevenallen to see the columns on Twitter. You can also read the archive of past ones, which can be found here.

You can click the image to zoom in on the paper, or read the column below.


Donald Trump has the ability to split opinion. So much so there is a debate over whether the President of the USA should get a state visit to Britain.

Afterall, he tweeted a putdown to our own leader. Some think it shouldn't happen and some think we should ignore it as no one turning up to meet him would be the cruelest thing to do to a narcissist.

There's even a campaign on Twitter to #ShowYourRumpToTrump when he arrives at the airport. That's one reason to hope the state visit isn't soon. It's cold and I'd need some time to hit the gym.

It's good to find the news stories that don't leave Trump looking bad, it'll bring people together. This week Donald Trump has signed directive to send astronauts back to the moon.

I'm surprised he did that. I imagine the core Trump supporter thinks the moon landings are fake and that the Earth is flat.

I've had some lovely Twitter arguments with flat Earthers. Why would the Government spend so much trying to convince us the planet is planet-shaped? Who's making money from this? How much money is there in selling drinks cabinets in the shape of globes?

As someone who likes science I like space travel. The push to put people on the moon gave us technology we use today.

The reason there had been little movement in sending people to the moon is that we were kind of getting on well on Earth. It was the USSR and the USA falling out that led to the space race and getting a man on the moon. Trump wanting to beat China is causing this latest spurt.

The way things are going, if Trump keeps falling out with leaders we'll be living like the Jetsons in no time.

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Trump Update: Whether he’s Comin’ or Cohen

Donald Trump warned 'a lot of women' would come forward during 2016 presidential run.

Show off.

In the Stormy Daniels case, Michael Cohen, Trump's former right-hand man, is giving evidence. Given the details we had from Stormy, “right-hand man” has already sent my mind off in the wrong direction.

Here’s a recap. Stormy slept with Trump just after his wife had given birth to their child, so it’s not like the wife would have had the energy to spank him with a magazine with his own face on it. A magazine with your face on it, or as Boris Johnson calls that, voter ID.

Trump got her to sign a NDA and paid her hush money. All perfectly legal in America. Have you met many Americans? They could all do with a lot more hush money.

Cohen made the payment, Trump paid him back but may have listed that money as an election payment. And that might be the crime.

It’s so upsetting that the actual crime isn’t a sexy scandal. It’s accountancy.

As Cohen described working for Trump on his 2016 presidential campaign, Cohen testified in court that the ex-president warned him his run for presidency would lead to negative stories surfacing. “You know that when this comes out … just be prepared. There’s going to be a lot of women coming forward”, Cohen claimed Trump told him.

The candidate for the evangelical Christian America there.

The one thing I don’t understand about this situation is why they tried to cover it up. When Trump gets sued or fined his base love him even more. A scandal where he slept with an adult actress seems like the kind of thing he’s pay $130,000 for now.

» Read the source story

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I'd Tap That

I am fairly sure I am being spied on.

Donald Trump claimed on Twitter that Obama tapped his phone calls and gave no evidence to back that up and I have no evidence that I am being tapped, so it must be equally true.

Then all the security officials in America said it wasn't true. Why would you need to bug Donald? If you want to record him saying something embarrassing just listen to his speeches.

When a White House spokeswoman was asked if Donald Trump accepted that he wasn't bugged she said, "I don't think he does. He firmly believes that this is a storyline that has been reported pretty widely."

Of course it has, the press reported that he tweeted about it. Just because something gets in the news doesn't make it true.

It was pretty widely reported that Trump splashed out on some hotel room entertainment in Moscow but it doesn't make it true, even though that would be funny if it were true.

Which leads me to my point, I am being spied on. Also this week experts claimed Samsung TVs could be hacked by the CIA and MI5 and they could use the microphone on the TV to listen to everything you say. Admittedly they would hear what you say while you're watching TV, so it would include things like, "Ooh, what's he been in before," and "Well, at least The Nightly Show makes the adverts look good."

Do I really think the CIA and MI5 have bothered to hack my TV to listen to me? Well, it's been pretty widely reported. Reported by me on my radio show and Twitter feed but still, it's been reported a lot.

So it's true. I don't mind though. I'm happy to get anyone listening.

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Trump and the FBI

A little while back Donald Trump had his home raided by the FBI. It made Trump fans very upset with the FBI because he has been elevated to the status of a man who can do not wrong in their eyes. Sadly for them, the same week the FBI said that Alec Baldwin did fire the gun in the fatal film set shooting, and they don’t like Alec, but they’d just gone off the FBI. Oh no. Awkward.

How do you square that circle? Donald has found a solution.

The former president has claimed rank and file FBI agents “love” him. Well, I bet they love the overtime.

He said this on Truth Social, his own platform, which doesn’t seem that “social” as it’s not free for just anyone to join, but that’s probably not the biggest problem with its name.

Meanwhile his new lead attorney, a future person he hates who’ll write a book about him, Jim Trusty promised to “come out swinging” as he prepares to file a new legal challenge against the breadth of the Justice Department search warrant.

The warrant says that while searching for classified documents, if you find some, you can confiscate the boxes around it. That’s the complaint. Not, “How dare you! There are no classified documents here.” The defence is, “When you find what you’re looking for you shouldn’t be able to take the other stuff.” We’re in a post-innocent era.

Mr Trump wrote: “I hear the the great Agents and others in the FBI are furious at FBI leadership for what they are doing with respect to political weaponisation against a President (me) that always had their backs, and that they like (love!) a lot.”

Will the FBI find the proof they’re looking for? Certainly not the proof-reading.

@mrstevenallen #Trump #passport snatched by the #FBI ♬ original sound - Steve N Allen

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Trump To Detergent Coronavirus

Donald Trump has done it again. He is so often right that it should come as no surprise that he has done it again.

In a White House briefing he suggested we do some research into whether detergent could be used as a treatment for Covid-19, by injecting it or using it to clean the lungs.

A little bit of research shows that he’s right. Bleach will kill the virus. Sadly it will also kill other thing, like the people who have bleach injected into them. That means that bleach could be used to get rid of the virus if you’re OK with getting rid of the person too. It won’t help your death rate graph but it will flatten that infection rate curve.

By the same logic we should look into arsenic, strychnine and anthrax being potential ways to kill the virus.

He also said we should see if UV light could be used to kill this coronavirus. Again, he’s right, if we’re talking about being a vampire instead of coronavirus. They are easily confused; they both involve staying indoors all day.

As much as it’s funny that the most powerful person in the world has said this, it’s a worry that some Trump supporters will follow this advice. When it was hydroxychloroquine, people took it, risked some complications, but it wasn’t too bad. It was also harder to get hydroxychloroquine. Everyone has bleach at home, so it is a worry that people will try it.

Some will cruelly call this natural selection in action, but don’t be so smug. If Trump causes a rush on bleach, how am I going to buy mine to clean the loo? I had enough on when I couldn’t get loo roll. What is it about this pandemic that seems to be attacking our bathrooms?

I shouldn’t have to point it out but don’t drink bleach. And to be fair, Trump wasn’t saying we should drink it. He wasn’t even saying we should use it externally. He would never put bleach on his skin and ruin that perfect fake tan. And if he does, getting some of that UV cure could help. See, I knew he’d make sense.

➡See the source story

[Video]: Here's some video content about coronavirus cures

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The Travel Ban

This week on the radio show we have been asking the question, is it right to curtail someone's ability to travel simply because of where they are from? But for those people who have to use Southern Rail, what can they do?

Other than that, the news has been filled with the international story of Donald Trump's travel ban. Not that he calls it a ban, he calls it "extreme vetting", which sounds like one of those sports you can do in New Zealand. You'll see pictures on your friend's Facebook showing them bungee jumping while examining a cow.

People on social media had their say including Kim Kardashian who disagreed with the President. I saw some Trump supporters tell Kim to butt out because she was "just a rich, reality TV star who only got where they are because of daddy". And Trump supporters hate that?

There were protests outside the White House and when I saw the pictures of it I thought, "So he can pull a big crowd when he really tries."

I'm not sure why people were so surprised, he said he was going to do this. He said he was going to build a wall too and people were shocked when he started to get the border measured up. He's simply doing the things he promised on the campaign trail. The guy he said he wanted to punch had better be ready for a little tiny fist-shaped bruise.

There were protests in London too trying to get the Government to cancel his state visit. The placards they held up said things like, "Not today Cheeto," and "Not my tangerine dream." He might have his ability to travel curtailed and people judge him because of the colour of he skin. Interesting times.

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[Video] Comics Solving Problems - S02E16 - Trump's Immune Response & BoJo's Mojo

When lockdown stated the Comics Solving Problems show began. Lockdown restrictions came and went and are currently coming back to say hi again. The new version of the show is still out there keeping up with the news for you. It's Comics Solving Problems.

Through the week you can send in the lockdown-related questions you have and during the show we will answer them to the best of the abilities two home-working stand-ups can.

In this episode they look at Donald Trump's dose of COVID, how to fight coronavirus like Trump and in UK news, what is Boris Johnson going on about?

Here's S02E16.

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Trump and Adverts [Podcast]

In this cover show we talk about what else the Donald Trump scandal would have been about, we look at the cartoons you like and the adverts you hate.

Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Wednesday 11th of January 2017.)




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Get the info on how to listen to the show live here.

To find more radio show minipodcasts see here.
All past episodes can be found in the radio podcast archive.
And if you enjoyed that check out the SomeNews Topical Podcast.

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Podcast ep20: SpaceX in Space, Trump's NHS and Zombie Laws

Get your pod on.

The Friday night show on BBC Radio Kent that reviews the week's news is now a podcast too. Edited highlights are packaged up into pod-form for you listening pleasure and it's free.

In this week's episode, S01E20, it was the week that Donald Trump had a go at our NHS, Elon Musk got rid of a car in a very original way, we got the repair bill for the Houses of Parliament and are the Spice Girls getting back together? @LarryEnts answers that one for us.

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Podcast ep15: Trump's Button and Supermoons

And the fresh new podcast is out.

The Friday night show on BBC Radio Kent that reviews the week's news is now a podcast too. Edited highlights are packaged up into pod-form for you listening pleasure and it's free.

In this week's episode, episode 15 by any other name, we look at who has the bigger button, Kim Jong-un or Donald Trump, spoiler alert: It's neither of them. They don't have buttons. We also look at the supermoon and what to do if you live in Bell End.

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SomeNews v3.0 - ep4 - Smoking, Trump and Loud Eaters

It's the new SomeNews Podcast.

In the all new v3.0 of the SomeNews podcast Steve N Allen and Erich McElroy chat through the news and bring you a handy digest of the latest. This time it's Donald Trump and Farage again, annoying thing your co-workers do, no smoking signs and more.





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SomeNews v3.0 - ep6 - Trump's Golden Age and Pay Caps

It's the new SomeNews Podcast.

In the all new v3.0 of the SomeNews podcast Steve N Allen and Erich McElroy chat through the news and bring you a handy digest of the latest. This time we look at the latest Donald Trump scandal, Fat Cat Wednesday and we find out how to make people at work finally shut up.





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Podcast ep17: Trump Health and Henry Bolton

Poddytime!

The Friday night show on BBC Radio Kent that reviews the week's news is now a podcast too. Edited highlights are packaged up into pod-form for you listening pleasure and it's free.

In this week's episode, S01E17 as the bit torrent people would have it, we hear about how fit Donald Trump is and how a certain woman thinks UKIP's Henry Bolton is fit in a different way.

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