26/08/2022

Death Slide Reopened

A video of a slide in Detroit went viral because it showed people hurtling down the slide banging into the hard surface. It’s a heath and safety nightmare but that’s entertainment these days.

It's 40 feet high, six lanes wide and probably invalidated medial insurance. It’s like someone has invented “extreme” playgrounding. There has even been a rap song inspired by it, which doesn’t help break the link between rap music and violence.

It’s reopened after a slight redesign, which the organisers claim will have slowed it down. Either that or they may have built a hospital nearby just in case.

Here’s a video to explain more.

@mrstevenallen #DeathSlide #HealthAndSafety ♬ original sound - Steve N Allen
>Read the source story


 | ☕ TIP (Help by donating)
 | 📻 LISTEN (to the new radio podcast)
 | 📺 WATCH (CSP Live Comedy Show)

Share:

25/08/2022

They Have Invented A Material That Can Think

In overstated science news: “Scientists discover material capable of ‘thinking’”.

It’s probably not actually ‘thinking’ or that would elevate that material about many animals and quite a few people.

The researchers behind it said that this is the “first example of an engineering material that can simultaneously sense, think and act upon mechanical stress without requiring additional circuits to process such signals”.

This is a great step forward in material science if you want a kitchen counter that can be in a mood with you.

At Penn State University that created this technology that is based on integrated circuits, which process information in a way that is similar to the way the human body does it. From personal experience that will include burying the feelings deep down inside and overeating to compensate. It’s amazing what circuit boards can do.

The team found that integrated circuits capable of performing computational tasks could be achieved using “nearly any material” around us, which makes you feel special now, doesn’t it?

The material can perform complex arithmetic, but it can also be used to detect radio frequencies to communicate light signals for applications like autonomous search-and-rescue systems.

Yeah, but it won’t do any of that, it’ll turn against humanity and enslave us all. That much we can workout without needing a computer to do it for us.

>Read the source story


 | ☕ TIP (Help by donating)
 | 📻 LISTEN (to the new radio podcast)
 | 📺 WATCH (CSP Live Comedy Show)

Share:

23/08/2022

Finnish PM Sanna Marin Has Backup Dancers

Hundreds of Finnish women have posted to social media supporting their prime minister Sanna Marin. She was caught up in a scandal when video emerged of her dancing at a private house party. Is dancing outlawed in Finland? Did they think the film Footloose was a documentary?

Sanna faced criticism of her behaviour when two videos appeared in which she sings and dances at a party with friends and another enjoying herself in a private VIP room of a well-known club in Helsinki.

She defended herself by saying she did nothing but “dance, sing, hug my friends and drink alcohol”. “I hope that in the year 2022 it’s accepted that even decision-makers dance, sing and go to parties.”

In 2022 yes. But in 2021 that hugging part would have been the problem.

Watch more coverage in the video below.

>Read the source story


 | ☕ TIP (Help by donating)
 | 📻 LISTEN (to the new radio podcast)
 | 📺 WATCH (CSP Live Comedy Show)

Share:

22/08/2022

Trump and the FBI

A little while back Donald Trump had his home raided by the FBI. It made Trump fans very upset with the FBI because he has been elevated to the status of a man who can do not wrong in their eyes. Sadly for them, the same week the FBI said that Alec Baldwin did fire the gun in the fatal film set shooting, and they don’t like Alec, but they’d just gone off the FBI. Oh no. Awkward.

How do you square that circle? Donald has found a solution.

The former president has claimed rank and file FBI agents “love” him. Well, I bet they love the overtime.

He said this on Truth Social, his own platform, which doesn’t seem that “social” as it’s not free for just anyone to join, but that’s probably not the biggest problem with its name.

Meanwhile his new lead attorney, a future person he hates who’ll write a book about him, Jim Trusty promised to “come out swinging” as he prepares to file a new legal challenge against the breadth of the Justice Department search warrant.

The warrant says that while searching for classified documents, if you find some, you can confiscate the boxes around it. That’s the complaint. Not, “How dare you! There are no classified documents here.” The defence is, “When you find what you’re looking for you shouldn’t be able to take the other stuff.” We’re in a post-innocent era.

Mr Trump wrote: “I hear the the great Agents and others in the FBI are furious at FBI leadership for what they are doing with respect to political weaponisation against a President (me) that always had their backs, and that they like (love!) a lot.”

Will the FBI find the proof they’re looking for? Certainly not the proof-reading.

@mrstevenallen #Trump #passport snatched by the #FBI ♬ original sound - Steve N Allen
>Read the source story


 | ☕ TIP (Help by donating)
 | 📻 LISTEN (to the new radio podcast)
 | 📺 WATCH (CSP Live Comedy Show)

Share:

21/08/2022

How Not To Give A Birthday Gift

If you enjoy the misfortune of others but wish you had an exact value for that fortune here’s one for you. Someone was given £100 for her birthday but it ended in disaster (for her, but a nearby seagull has probably ended up living it large).

Here’s a video that explains it all.

@mrstevenallen How not to give a #birthday gift. #comedy #schadenfreude ♬ original sound - Steve N Allen
>Read the source story


 | ☕ TIP (Help by donating)
 | 📻 LISTEN (to the new radio podcast)
 | 📺 WATCH (CSP Live Comedy Show)

Share:

20/08/2022

Get Ready for 50-Year-Mortgages

If you like owing money but wish it could go on for longer we have some good news for you.

A new lender is to offer 50-year fixed-rate mortgages to borrowers looking to beat inflation. They will have rates of around 4.5%.

With a retirement age of 66, this is great news if you’re a 16-year-old buying your first house. The youth have it so lucky when it comes to buying property these days.

It’s Perenna, a UK-based specialist lender, that has said it would initially launch 30-year loans before later rolling out longer terms. As long as life expectancies suddenly go up in the next few year this will work out just fine.

Clearly the idea is that you don’t pay it off the long way. You sell the house and with a 50 year mortgage there is sure to be lots of the debt still attached. You pay off the leftover debt with the sale, which basically means it comes out of any money your kids would have got from your estate.

Yes, we have found a way to use the money of the next generations to fuel our house buying now. We’re unstoppable.

>Read the source story


 | ☕ TIP (Help by donating)
 | 📻 LISTEN (to the new radio podcast)
 | 📺 WATCH (CSP Live Comedy Show)

Share:

Podcast

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Twitter


LIVE SHOWS

The SomeNews Live Show
See where the SomeNews Live Show will be next.

Contact

If you need to get in touch email info@somenews.co.uk. See the About SomeNews page for more info.

Blog Archive