27/05/2020

[Columns] I'm Not Cut Out For This

Each week I write newspaper columns for a variety of titles across the UK. You can find then in London, Essex, Derbyshire, Nottinghamshire, Lincolnshire and Wiltshire and Hertfordshire.

With the UK struggling to get to grips with the corona crisis, I have been using more of the columns to find the uplifting angles to the main news.

In this one, from a newspaper in Essex, I look at some of the solutions to crowds and gatherings as we come out of lockdown.

Click to have a read.





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[Video] Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems Ep15 - Cummings, Trump's Positive & Cannabis Cure

During this enforced staying in there's a greater need for stuff to watch. We're always here to help. For the next few weeks we'll be doing live-streaming shows called Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems.

Through the week you can send in the lockdown-related questions you have and during the show we will answer them to the best of the abilities that two out-of-work stand-ups have.

In this episode we look at the latest Dominic Cummings news, why Trump has tested positive and there are a few new cures for Covid19 coming out way.

Here's episode 15.


If you have any questions you'd like us to tackle on the show track us down on social media (on Twitter use the hashtag #CIQSP) and we'll see if we can help. We'll be back next week.
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21/05/2020

Is The Superdrug Antibody Test Worth It

Near the start of this coronavirus crisis people were saying we need to “test, test, test”.

Now we are seeing a new level of testing that completes at least one of those three.

Superdrug is selling an antibody test. That means it is the test that shows if you have had the coronavirus in the past. Seeing as Covid-19 can happen without the sufferer showing any symptoms, if you have had no symptoms recently, this test could be for you.

The fact that you can get it from Superdrug means you can pick one up as you’re getting your false nails and pregnancy tests. You’d imagine people would be happy about this but they have been upset by the price tag. You can get this test for £69.

The test itself apparently costs pennies to produce, so there is a large mark-up, but that’s how shops like that work. I’m sure it doesn’t cost much to make mint shower gel but they charge several pounds for it.

The Original Source ones boast that they contain 7,927 mint leaves. Round it up and put 8,000 in, you tight gits.

It is a bit steep. When I heard that Superdrug were asking nearly £70 for each test I thought, “What do they want, blood?!”

Then I read more about how the tests work and realised, yeah, they do - a small sample of it.

Many people are upset that we are not getting the tests for free on the NHS. It’s important to remember, you don’t have to have one of these tests. They only tell you if you were ill with coronavirus in the past. The fact that you’re not currently on a ventilator or dead should tell you it wasn’t that bad.

At the moment the scientists aren’t sure that having the antibodies will mean you’ll be immune to the virus. If that’s the case I’m not sure why we bother making them. If they’re just hanging round in our blood and not keeping us safe they’re just making us weigh more. And I do not need help in that regard.

If you pay £69 for this test and you find out that you had the virus the only thing you can do with that information is bring it up in conversation. And for a chance to talk about ourselves we’ll probably stump up the cash willingly.

➡Read the source story



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20/05/2020

[Video] Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems Ep13 - Quarantine, Trump Drugs & Boris Scores

During this enforced staying in there's a greater need for stuff to watch. We're always here to help. For the next few weeks we'll be doing live-streaming shows called Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems.

Through the week you can send in the lockdown-related questions you have and during the show we will answer them to the best of the abilities that two out-of-work stand-ups have.

In this episode we look at the 14 day quarantine getting into the UK, Trump on drugs and Boris Johnson's approval rating.

Here's episode 13.



If you have any questions you'd like us to tackle on the show track us down on social media (on Twitter use the hashtag #CIQSP) and we'll see if we can help. We'll be back next week.
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18/05/2020

[Columns] I Got A Face Mask

Each week I write newspaper columns for a variety of titles across the UK. You can find then in London, Essex, Derbyshire, Nottinghamshire, Lincolnshire and Wiltshire and Hertfordshire.

With the UK struggling to get to grips with the corona crisis, I have been using more of the columns to find the uplifting angles to the main news.

In this one, from a newspaper in Essex, I bought a face mask and I am not afraid to you it.

Click to have a read.




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17/05/2020

[Video] Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems Ep12 - Garden Centres, New Normal People & Mouthwash

During this enforced staying in there's a greater need for stuff to watch. We're always here to help. For the next few weeks we'll be doing live-streaming shows called Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems.

Through the week you can send in the lockdown-related questions you have and during the show we will answer them to the best of the abilities that two out-of-work stand-ups have.

In this episode we look at garden centres reopening, the "new normal" may ruin the TV show Normal People, and can mouthwash help with coronavirus.

Here's episode 12.



If you have any questions you'd like us to tackle on the show track us down on social media (on Twitter use the hashtag #CIQSP) and we'll see if we can help. We'll be back next week.
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16/05/2020

[Podcast] Comics Aren't Essential Ep11 - Bryan Adams, Stand-Up & Alertness

The Comics Aren't Essential podcast, the companion podcast to the web-streaming show Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems is up and running. Here you can get the audio from the live streaming shows and some podcast-only extras too.

In this episode we look at Staying Alert, Bryan Adams losing it, and crowds in stand-up gigs.

You can watch the videos of Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems here but meanwhile, get the podcast going.

Here's episode nine.





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Coronavirus May Cause... Possession

As if we didn’t have enough to worry about already. We have this Coronavirus thing, I don’t know if you’ve heard about it.

We also have the threat of murder hornets. Basically wasps that can kill. You think a normal wasp can ruin a picnic. It’s even worse when you have to carry back a full hamper of food and a corpse.

Now we have to worry about possessions. Not as in, “Please keep your possessions with you when you leave the train.” You shouldn’t be on public transport in the first place, you dirty git. It’s demonic possessions.

Exorcist and Buddhist priest Paul Devlin says that the “negative energy” created by the coronavirus pandemic is a “breeding ground for demons”.

On the bright side, I am already avoiding people, so if a few of them become controlled by evil spirits, at least they won’t be doing it near me.

This Paul Devlin chap apparently knows what he’s talking about because he has seen off some demons in the past. His said his first case was someone who had pointed teeth. And now everyone is wearing a face mask, they could all be on the turn and we can’t tell by looking.

In an interview with a tabloid newspaper Paul said that people in self-isolation may have negative emotions and those emotions could entice malevolent forces in. For some it may be the only way to get some company. It’s just nice to have someone to chat to, even if they’re chatting back ancient Aramaic.

I’m not sure if you can get an exorcism via a webcam. Will reading out an incantation in Latin still work if you’ve got yourself on mute? There are more questions than answers.

There may be a good point here. Negative thoughts and emotions are bad for us and they can be easily found during the lockdown with its isolation and worries. So here’s a bit of good news to help in the fight: “Don’t worry. None of this possession lark is real.”

Phew. Feels better already.

➡Read the source story



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15/05/2020

[Columns] Money, Money, Money

Each week I write newspaper columns for a variety of titles across the UK. You can find then in London, Essex, Derbyshire, Nottinghamshire, Lincolnshire and Wiltshire and Hertfordshire.

With the UK struggling to get to grips with the corona crisis, I have been using more of the columns to find the uplifting angles to the main news.

In this one, from a newspaper in Essex, I look at the role of money in all this coronavirus lark.

Click to have a read.




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[Video] Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems Ep11 - Bryan Adams, Staying Alert & Stand-Up

During this enforced staying in there's a greater need for stuff to watch. We're always here to help. For the next few weeks we'll be doing live-streaming shows called Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems.

Through the week you can send in the lockdown-related questions you have and during the show we will answer them to the best of the abilities that two out-of-work stand-ups have.

In this episode we look at Staying Alert, Bryan Adams losing it, and crowds in stand-up gigs.

Here's episode 11.



If you have any questions you'd like us to tackle on the show track us down on social media (on Twitter use the hashtag #CIQSP) and we'll see if we can help. We'll be back next week.

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10/05/2020

[Podcast] Comics Aren't Essential Extra Ep4 - Stay Alert, Watch Comedy & Save Lives

The Comics Aren't Essential podcast, the companion podcast to the web-streaming show Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems is here. This is a podcast-only show, not cropping up anywhere else. It's a behind the scenes chat with Steve and Erich about setting up the show and how it is going so far. A "making of", if you will.

You can watch the videos of Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems here but meanwhile, get the podcast going.

In this episode we look at new Government advice, what it's like to do comedy during lockdown, joblessness and live comedy gigs.





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[Podcast] Comics Aren't Essential Ep10 - Meghan, Prof Lockdown and X Æ A-12

The Comics Aren't Essential podcast, the companion podcast to the web-streaming show Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems is up and running. Here you can get the audio from the live streaming shows and some podcast-only extras too.

In this episode we look at Meghan's reading skills, The Prof who had an affair in lockdown and rich people's baby names.

You can watch the videos of Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems here but meanwhile, get the podcast going.

Here's episode nine.





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09/05/2020

[Podcast] Comics Aren't Essential Ep9 - Alex Jones, Smaller courts & Olly Murs.

The Comics Aren't Essential podcast, the companion podcast to the web-streaming show Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems is up and running. Here you can get the audio from the live streaming shows and some podcast-only extras too.

In this episode we look at Alex Jones, smaller courts and Olly Murs.

You can watch the videos of Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems here but meanwhile, get the podcast going.

Here's episode nine.





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08/05/2020

[Video] Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems Ep10

During this enforced staying in there's a greater need for stuff to watch. We're always here to help. For the next few weeks we'll be doing live-streaming shows called Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems.

Through the week you can send in the lockdown-related questions you have and during the show we will answer them to the best of the abilities that two out-of-work stand-ups have.

In this episode we look at Meghan's reading skills, The Prof who had an affair in lockdown and rich people's baby names.

Here's episode 10.



If you have any questions you'd like us to tackle on the show track us down on social media (on Twitter use the hashtag #CIQSP) and we'll see if we can help. We'll be back next week.
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[Podcast] Comics Aren't Essential Ep8 - Pubs, Masks & Trackers

The Comics Aren't Essential podcast, the companion podcast to the web-streaming show Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems is up and running. Here you can get the audio from the live streaming shows and some podcast-only extras too.

In this episode we look at the return of the pubs, the Covid contact tracker and face coverings from Boris.

You can watch the videos of Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems here but meanwhile, get the podcast going.

Here's episode eight.





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07/05/2020

[Podcast] Comics Aren't Essential Ep7 - UFOs, BJ's back & Cocktails

The Comics Aren't Essential podcast, the companion podcast to the web-streaming show Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems is up and running. Here you can get the audio from the live streaming shows and some podcast-only extras too.

In this one we look at UFOs, Boris Johnson's return and celeb cocktail making.

You can watch the videos of Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems here but meanwhile, get the podcast going.

Here's episode seven.





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[Video] Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems Ep9

During this enforced staying in there's a greater need for stuff to watch. We're always here to help. For the next few weeks we'll be doing live-streaming shows called Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems.

Through the week you can send in the lockdown-related questions you have and during the show we will answer them to the best of the abilities that two out-of-work stand-ups have.

In this episode we look at Alex Jones, smaller courts and Olly Murs.

Here's episode 9.



If you have any questions you'd like us to tackle on the show track us down on social media (on Twitter use the hashtag #CIQSP) and we'll see if we can help. We'll be back next week.
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06/05/2020

What Boris Johnson and Elon Musk Have in Common

Lockdown has taught me a lot about the effects of poverty. It’s worrying to see your career disappear, I’ll miss it, but I realise I was lucky before. Real poverty costs lives. The Office for National Statistics found that if you are more well off you stand a better chance of surviving coronavirus.

The ONS also found that if you are a man you have a worse time with the virus. If you combine those statistics it shows that women must be earning more than men now. That’ll cheer some people up.

The news has also shown that money affects the names you give to your children. Prime Minister Boris Johnson and Carrie Symonds welcomed their little bundle of joy into the world by naming him Wilfred.

He’ll be known as Willy Johnson, both words with a shared slang meaning. I’d be worried about my child being picked on at school with a name like that.

My working class education taught me that you have to have a solid bully-proof name. If your name rhymes with something rude you’re done for. If it sounds silly, you’ll be taunted by those sounds for years.

My surname is fairly safe but even I was called Fallon because it sounded a bit like a character in Dynasty.

Posh people don’t have that worry. Boris knows he is rich and influential so giving his child a name that’s up there with Richard Member is fine. No one will dare to tease his little Willy.

Extreme wealth makes this effect worse. Billionaire Elon Musk has named his new baby “X Æ A-12”. I’m being serious. He’s had a child with singer Grimes and they have named that baby something that looks like Teletext when you had bad reception.

If I named a child X Æ A-12 Allen it would be bullied everyday. It would known as Typo for short. The big boys at school would give it a wedgie as they shout, “Is that a name or a Battleships move?”

In theory X Æ A-12 Musk should be bullied more because that surname make it sound like a sex pheromone you can buy online. A billionaire as a dad makes all of that go away.

Strange names are the domain of the rich, successful and powerful. And thanks to the lockdown I’ve ended up with the career that fits being called Steve.



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02/05/2020

[Columns] The Things We Miss in Lockdown

Each week I write newspaper columns for a variety of titles across the UK. You can find then in London, Essex, Derbyshire, Nottinghamshire, Lincolnshire and Wiltshire and Hertfordshire.

With the UK struggling to get to grips with the corona crisis, I have been using more of the columns to find the uplifting angles to the main news.

In this one, from a newspaper in Essex, I ask some questions about pubs coming out of lockdown.

Click to have a read.




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01/05/2020

[Columns] Looking On The Bright Side of Covid

Each week I write newspaper columns for a variety of titles across the UK. You can find then in London, Essex, Derbyshire, Nottinghamshire, Lincolnshire and Wiltshire and Hertfordshire.

With the UK struggling to get to grips with the corona crisis, I have been using more of the columns to find the uplifting angles to the main news.

In this one, from a newspaper in Wiltshire, I look at the ups and downs of what we're going through.

Click to have a read.





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[Video] Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems Ep8

During this enforced staying in there's a greater need for stuff to watch. We're always here to help. For the next few weeks we'll be doing live-streaming shows called Comics In Quarantine Solving Problems.

Through the week you can send in the lockdown-related questions you have and during the show we will answer them to the best of the abilities that two out-of-work stand-ups have.

In this episode we look at the return of the pubs, the Covid contact tracker and face coverings from Boris.

Here's episode 8.



If you have any questions you'd like us to tackle on the show track us down on social media (on Twitter use the hashtag #CIQSP) and we'll see if we can help. We'll be back next week.
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