24/02/2020

A Few More Columns

Each week I write newspaper columns for a variety of titles across the UK. You can find then in London, Essex, Derbyshire, Nottinghamshire, Lincolnshire and Wiltshire.

Here are a few from this week. Click on the picture if you’d like to read it.

In the Romford Recorder I look at one of the reasons there could be fewer people paying the licence fee.


In this week’s Swindon Advertiser I defend the NHS from another attacker. It's Gwyneth Paltrow and her candle in her wind.


Keep an eye out in your local paper as you never know when I might be writing something near you.

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Fake News

You can now see Steve N Allen in the webshow Fake News.

It’s a topical comedy show that mixes fake news with the real stuff but is there any difference.

Follow it on YouTube to see all the episode.

Here’s a recent one to get you started.



📺See the rest here
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22/02/2020

[Podcast] Steve N Allen’s Week ep 128 - Fashion, Breakfast and Cheats

In this week’s episode of the Steve N Allen’s Week podcast we talk about...

Steve at London Fashion Week
The London Eye turns 20
What should happen to people who eat in cinemas
The Learner Driver who cheated
Why breakfast may make you slimmer

Have a listen…



And now you can subscribe to the podcast so you never miss it.


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19/02/2020

Hey Alexa! Is This Proof You're Spying On Us

Google Home, Amazon’s Echo and the like are often referred to as internet-enabled speakers, but that’s only half the story. If we called them internet-enabled microphones we’d feel a little creeped out. They are in our homes listening to us all the time.

When I first got one I like it. It was rare to be listened to at home. But now we’re hearing stories about how these things spy on us.

A former Amazon executive, Robert Fredrick, has said he turns the company’s Alexa smart speakers off when he wants to have a ‘private’ moment.

We all assume he means sex. What other private moment would you not want recording? You’re far less likely to shout out the wrong name during a poo.

It must act as an early warning sign for his missus. When she notices him going round unplugging the smart speakers she knows what’s about to happen.

Recently we heard that Amazon admitted it did turn over recordings made by Alexa to contractors to analyse. Those contractors aren’t meant to let humans have a listen and laugh at the rude stuff but you can’t be sure. It’s the same logic that means you didn’t take your saucy photos to be developed in Snappy Snaps.

In an interview with the BBC, Robert said he turns the devices off if he wants to talk about something that he wouldn’t want people listening to. He said, “I don’t want certain conversations to be heard by humans.”

The obvious question is, if he doesn’t want humans to hear it, who is he having that conversation with?

It’s either our alien overlords or is Henry the Hoover needs help.




| 📕 READ (the new book)
| 🎧 LISTEN (to the latest podcast)
| 👀 SEE (Steve's live stand-up)

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[Podcast] Steve N Allen’s Week ep 127

In this week’s episode of the Steve N Allen’s Week podcast we talk about the man who sat in a barrel at the top of a pole for very little reason, jackets for cyclists, how to date a millennial, the Bond film theme, Boris’s new bridge, the woman who dated a bank robber by mistake, why we should ban the hospital gown and probably much much more.

Have a listen…


And now you can subscribe to the podcast so you never miss it.


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17/02/2020

Coronavirus Masks Are The Fashion For London

You know me, I follow London Fashion Week as much as the next man, as long as the next man is a Northerner who has worn the same outfit for the last twenty years.

Normally there are weird outfits that you know you will never see anyone wearing. Some model will parade along the catwalk in a shredded bin liner with rabbit foot keyrings attached and electrical tape on their nipples and that’s meant to be what everyone will be wearing next year.

OK, if Brexit hits hard maybe people will be wearing bin bags but who is going to bother with the tape? It’ll pull the hairs out when you remove it.

This year that won’t be a problem as some models have been wearing something that you can already see on the High Street. They’re wearing face masks.

Maybe I’m out of touch but I don’t look for the latest trends when I am buying a face mask, I just look for the one that will stop me catching the latest pox. Am I “soooo last season” if mine still says SARS on it and not COVID-19?

It’s like what my parents would say when I had to wear a cagoule, “It doesn’t matter what you look like, as long as you’re dry.” They were right. I wasn’t fully dry because of all the tears caused by the bullying I received for wearing that cagoule but at least I didn’t get the rain on me.

A fashion face mask might not be as good as a standard one. Have you seen what fashion has been doing to jeans lately? They used to have a few rips in them when distressed jeans became a thing but now it’s more rip than jean. You see some people looking like they have just narrowly survived a werewolf attack.

You do that to a face mask and you’re catch whatever is going.

Of course, there is every chance that the people at the London Fashion Show aren’t wearing them to look good and maybe it’s because a fashion show brings together people from all over the world so could easily spread viruses but I wouldn’t know. As I said, if it’s not jeans and a shirt I have no idea what fashion is.




| 📕 READ (the new book)
| 🎧 LISTEN (to the latest podcast)
| 👀 SEE (Steve's live stand-up)

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15/02/2020

A Week In Columns

Each week I write newspaper columns for a variety of titles across the UK. You can find then in London, Essex, Derbyshire, Nottinghamshire, Lincolnshire and Wiltshire.

Here are a few from this week. Click on the picture if you’d like to read it.

In this week’s Hackney Gazette I look at the trust we have in the police to help us if we are the victim of a crime. Experts say that trust is reducing. I also mention my pant theft.


In the Barking and Dagenham Post I look at the new Government policy to get rid of the polluting petrol and diesel cars. We’ll love the cleaner air but we’ll miss the “broom broom” sounds.


And in the Romford Recorder I talk about the new bridge that could link Scotland and Northern Ireland and challenges it will face. It’ll probably be a toll bridge so I won’t use it anyway.


Keep an eye out in your local paper as you never know when I might be writing something near you.

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