Coronavirus Masks Are The Fashion For London

You know me, I follow London Fashion Week as much as the next man, as long as the next man is a Northerner who has worn the same outfit for the last twenty years.

Normally there are weird outfits that you know you will never see anyone wearing. Some model will parade along the catwalk in a shredded bin liner with rabbit foot keyrings attached and electrical tape on their nipples and that’s meant to be what everyone will be wearing next year.

OK, if Brexit hits hard maybe people will be wearing bin bags but who is going to bother with the tape? It’ll pull the hairs out when you remove it.

This year that won’t be a problem as some models have been wearing something that you can already see on the High Street. They’re wearing face masks.

Maybe I’m out of touch but I don’t look for the latest trends when I am buying a face mask, I just look for the one that will stop me catching the latest pox. Am I “soooo last season” if mine still says SARS on it and not COVID-19?

It’s like what my parents would say when I had to wear a cagoule, “It doesn’t matter what you look like, as long as you’re dry.” They were right. I wasn’t fully dry because of all the tears caused by the bullying I received for wearing that cagoule but at least I didn’t get the rain on me.

A fashion face mask might not be as good as a standard one. Have you seen what fashion has been doing to jeans lately? They used to have a few rips in them when distressed jeans became a thing but now it’s more rip than jean. You see some people looking like they have just narrowly survived a werewolf attack.

You do that to a face mask and you’re catch whatever is going.

Of course, there is every chance that the people at the London Fashion Show aren’t wearing them to look good and maybe it’s because a fashion show brings together people from all over the world so could easily spread viruses but I wouldn’t know. As I said, if it’s not jeans and a shirt I have no idea what fashion is.

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