08/03/2017

Chocolate News

Remember the story about Toblerone changing so it has fewer peaks, like a metaphor for life? Well, it's getting worse.

This week we heard chocolate bars are ‘to shrink by 20%’ in bid to tackle child obesity.

Haven't they shrunken enough all ready? I know it's a cliché to say it but Wagon Wheels are smaller these days. I remember when, in the event of a flat tyre, you could use one as a spare to get you home.

They have already taken so much from us. I saw in a shop they sell Twix Singles. I stood there in the aisle, sighed and just said, “Why?” And then I bought two.

They make our chocolate bars smaller, put them in bags “to share” and we buy more and share less. If you make these bars 20% smaller we'll just buy 20% more. At least this might make some people think that GCSE maths was worthwhile.

And they're bringing it in to help with child obesity. I'm no longer a child, regardless of how funny I still find seeing someone walk into a patio door. Why can't I turn up, with ID to prove my age, and buy a proper chocolate bar.

I don't agree with childhood driving or cars but it doesn't mean we ban it for the rest of us.

The move is in a bid to avoid a Government report that's going to name and shame foods that are bad for you. But if you need a report to notice a massive chocolate bar doesn't count as one of your five-a-day you've got bigger problems.

I know I should eat more healthily but at the moment, thanks to the veg crisis, if you try to survive on healthy salad you might starve. So hand over that chocolate bar.

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