They have recently included, “No, I'm not into all that Fifty Shades business, I don't even like it when I stub my toe.”
If you were sat near me you may have heard an grumpy man shout, “How much?!”
I was enjoying a half-caf skinny venti when I saw the news that a cappuccino costing an average £2.52 these days contains around 10p worth of coffee in it.
We wouldn't accept that anywhere else. If you went into a sweet shop, asked for a 10p mix and was charged £2.52 for it you'd either complain or realise you're in London.
When you known your drink only contains 10p worth of coffee it makes the tips jar next to the till see a little galling.
As I sat there I was trying to workout how to get my money's worth. The sachets of sugar on the condiment stand are free. They're about 4g. 1Kg is worth 69p in my local supermarket, so to make the £2.42 back I'd need 1,536. I don't have the pockets to sneak all of those out and the biggest problem with that plan is that I don't have sugar.
We simply get ripped off in life. Coffee doesn't have a lot of coffee in it, sandwiches are more bread than filling and so-called man-sized tissues are nowhere near as big as me.
So I say, get your own back. For every hour at work you are paid for work 2.38 minutes and it works out the same. And if you tune in to my radio show, you'll see I've already started.