23/07/2014

Royal Horse Is A Drug User

Get ready for the latest royal scandal...

Estimate, the racehorse owned by the Queen, has tested positive for the banned substance morphine. So many questions now need to be answered. Will it be banned from racing? Will it have to give back the titles it's won? Does it go to the same dealer has Prince Harry?

The 5-year-old filly won the Gold Cup at Royal Ascot last year. Royal horse wins at "Royal" Ascot. How did we not tell this was a set up? It was the same with It's A Royal Knockout but we can't talk about that because of Stuart Hall now.

So, where did it get the drugs from? Well, so far the thinking is the positive test result was caused by contaminated feed product. Contaminated feed giving it morphine? That's not fair. When I have eaten gone off food in the past I've just had crazy shits, I didn't get to trip. It's so unfair because it's not like these horses need the drugs. They can get ketamine without having to try to be friendly with some aloof guy at a party who seems like he may have killed before.

It just goes to show that you shouldn't drugs. These horses get ketamine and morphine and yet still, you have to ask, why the long face? (Yep, pretty much every time we mention horses here we have to do a why the long face joke. It's tradition, like Christmas and burning witches.)

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