Do We Need This Snack

I like a snack as much as the next man - unless the next man is Eamonn Holmes, in which case I probably like snacks slightly less than the next man, but I still like them. Even I, as a snack-fan, I have to wonder about the new flavour that's hit the market.

It has been brought in by, let's call it, a well-known high street supermarket. I don't want to name them, in case Tesco sues. They have made "Prosecco and Elderberry" crisps.

I hate to be the one to bring reality into this, but it doesn't matter how sustainably sourced and exotic your subtle flavours are, YOU ARE EATING A BAG OF CRISPS! Stop trying to "middle-class-up" everything. Crisps are a nice snack we all enjoy, no one needs to try to keep up with the neighbours in this one area of life.

LAURA: "Have you seen the Henderson's at number 4? I saw they bought ready salted crisps. Not even a rock salt mined from the flats of Russia. They're bringing the house prices down."

It's food gentrification. In fact it's not even that. It's the shallowness of the attempt, without even the results of achieving it. While you want to seem posh by your crisps choice, they'll still say Tesco on the bag. You're not that fancy. People will see you eating your middle-class bag of crisps and think, "Hmm, it says that on the side but it's probably made from horse."

If you really fancy the flavour, if you have found yourself saying, "I could really go for a snack that tastes like alcohol and small fruit. You know, the diet of a sad model," then have fun.

Sorry for the rant. I think maybe my blood sugar levels are a little off. I'll have a biscuit to cheer up. Well, I say biscuit, it's probably a Malaysian oat and Antarctic raisin biscuit with an organic cocoa garnish or whatever they'd call a ****ing Hobnob these days!

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