15/01/2025

School Closes After £1.8million Refurb

somenews
Highland Council has announced plans to close a school just one year after it had a £1.8million revamp. Now, I understand, when you’ve spent a lot of money and you have the latest, nice new kit, the last thing you want to do is let children anywhere near it. It’s like when you leave that plastic screen on your new phone for a while. But it’s kind of different with a school.

Strathconon Primary School might close because it’s predicted have just on one pupil. That would be intense for that child. It would make it hard to get away with anything. You won’t hear a teacher saying, “Why threw that?” If you can’t work it out you shouldn’t be a teacher.

In sports lessons when you have to do country dancing, you wouldn’t be able to group off in pairs, so that’s an improvement on my childhood.

The decision has been met with fury from parents. I imagine we can guess whose parents. They point out that the authority ‘must have known for years’ that the school roll was predicted to fall.

That’s true. The fact that there are no other younglings in the area must have gave it away. Were they hoping that the current cohort would all be so stupid that they get held back a year?

They spent £1,791,662 for the ‘refurbishment and extension’ of the building. The refurbishment you could almost excuse but the extension beggars belief. Why do you need an extension when you have so few children there? It’s just more rooms to try and find the kid in when he’s hiding.

The closure will mean the sole remaining pupil has a 24-mile round trip to his nearest school at Marybank. That’s a long walk.

It’s run by Strathconon Estates, whose director is Sofie Kirk Kristiansen, the great-granddaughter of Lego founder Ole Kirk Kristiansen. I think I know how they could have built that extension on the cheap. They could have knocked it up from Lego parts. It wouldn’t be very warm, comfortable or safe but… THERE ARE NO CHILDREN GOING THERE!

The only hope is that some locals pretend to be school kids and dress up in the uniform just to keep the place open. There is a chance I have been watching too many films from the 90s.

» Read the source story


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