11/02/2018

Podcast ep20: SpaceX in Space, Trump's NHS and Zombie Laws

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The Friday night show on BBC Radio Kent that reviews the week's news is now a podcast too. Edited highlights are packaged up into pod-form for you listening pleasure and it's free.

In this week's episode, S01E20, it was the week that Donald Trump had a go at our NHS, Elon Musk got rid of a car in a very original way, we got the repair bill for the Houses of Parliament and are the Spice Girls getting back together? @LarryEnts answers that one for us.

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Mash Report: Lucky People

You can catch Steve on BBC 2's The Mash Report on Thursday nights from 10pm. Old episodes are on the iPlayer now but meanwhile here's a clip from this week's.

In this clip, we investigate the downside to being rich and successful.

See the full show BBC 2 10pm Thursdays (repeated Sundays 10pm)



Watch the full Mash Report episodes here





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The Bitcoin Losers Hotline

Have you lost money on bitcoin? There's a phone number you can call, if you can afford it.
I have an announcement to make. I nearly got into bitcoin before it went up in value. You know, like everyone you meet did.

I know that everyone claims it, but for a while back in 2010 I set up some computers mining for bitcoin, got bored, stopped it and thought, “Well, if I spend all this money running my Linux machines crunching numbers I'll have spent more than the couple of quid I'll probably get out of it.”

If I would have found a bitcoin it could have been worth £25,000, which would have paid my electricity bill. Maybe. If I wasn't on a Big Six standard tariff.

But I stopped it, besides, I am from the East Midlands so I find that definition of “mining” to be offensive to my people.

While I have have missed out on money I may have dodged a problem. People are getting so into bitcoin that a bitcoin addiction hotline has been set up in Moscow.

In recent weeks the value of bitcoin has halved and there's a worry that this could push some investors over the edge. The helpline is there for them to talk about their feelings, like the one that was set up to help us through the break up of Take That.

I imagine the calls go like this.

CALLER: Oh no, the value of bitcoin has crashed and I've lost lots of money.
HELPER: OK, but didn't the value of bitcoin shoot up at the end of last year earning you that money?
CALLER: (pauses) Shut up, I want sympathy!


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[Newspaper Column] Royal Wedding

Each week the Romford Recorder and Ilford Recorder have the Steve N Allen column. If you're around East London and West Essex you can buy the newspaper every Thursday/Friday, or follow @mrstevenallen to see the columns on Twitter. You can also read the archive of past ones, which can be found here.


You can click the image to zoom in on the paper, or read the column below.

When we heard that Prince Harry's wedding didn't earn us a bank holiday I was upset. When they told us it was going to be on a Saturday and the FA Cup final day I was shocked. Now I have to wait for Prince George to tie the knot before I get to finish the spare room.

Now there are plans to extend pub opening hours on the day of the wedding.

Why are they doing this? Not, as I first thought, so they could simply hold the reception in a pub and save us taxpayers some money.

Home Secretary Amber Rudd said: "We want everyone to be able to make the most of such an historic occasion." If you want to make it a day to remember letting people drink so much they can't might not be the best way to go about it.

Last week there was Windsor council leader Simon Dudley asked Thames Valley Police to clear away the homeless people from the town as that's where the wedding will be. There was a backlash to this attitude on social media.

Now we hear the pubs will be open later. I wouldn't be surprised if Simon doesn't hand out a few tenners saying, "Why don't you get yourself a drink?" on the day of the event.

People always start drinking earlier on a cup final day and now you're letting them drink later?

You could try a system where only royal fans get the later hours but football fans would find a way to sneak in, pretending to be a royalist. You'll see men in scarves saying, "Nah, I think it's great Prince Harry is marrying Angela Merkel."

May 19th 2018 will certainly be remembered. Possibly not for the royal wedding but more as the day of the riots.

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03/02/2018

Podcast ep19: Walk-On Girls, Supermoons and The Memo

Get your pod on.

The Friday night show on BBC Radio Kent that reviews the week's news is now a podcast too. Edited highlights are packaged up into pod-form for you listening pleasure and it's free.

In this week's episode, S01E19, we hear about Donald Trump's memo, the end of the glamorous walk-on girls, one of the rarest moons we could see and lots of other stuff.

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[Newspaper Column] Threxit - Thurrock Indeendence

Each week the Romford Recorder and Ilford Recorder have the Steve N Allen column. If you're around East London and West Essex you can buy the newspaper every Thursday/Friday, or follow @mrstevenallen to see the columns on Twitter. You can also read the archive of past ones, which can be found here.


You can click the image to zoom in on the paper, or read the column below.

Last week I spoke of the fact that when you think of UKIP now you think of Henry Bolton's love life, which made Dry January even harder.

As soon as that column came out we heard that all 17 councillors in Thurrock left the party. Who would have thought the printed word could have such impact?

They have formed what has been called the Thurrock Independents. Years after the United Kingdom Independence Party was formed a Brexit vote was passed so we can only assume that at some point in the future Thurrock will go independent.

It was in a column on the 20th of October last year that I analysed if Canvey Island would make it as its own country, now I have to do it again. Soon Romford will be surrounded by different nation states, like in the Anglo-Saxon days of England when there was a king of Mercia. If all these areas become independent and get a monarch that's job creation.

Thurrock isn't an island but that's fine, countries on the continent do well having land borders and if anything it's set up better for life as its own land than Canvey.

Like the UK itself, Thurrock has a tunnel and also a bridge that charges people to enter. It has a port on the Thames so could have its own navy.

It has Lakeside, which gives it a stable economy. We'll have to sort out a trade deal with Thurrock before we worry about one with the EU or we don't be able to get tea lights from that Ikea.

Yes, there may have to be a hard border and checkpoint in North Ockendon, causing more tension with South Ockendon, but it will mean my afternoon radio show is international, so I am all for it.

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Mash Report: BBC Gender Pay Gap

You can catch Steve on BBC 2's The Mash Report on Thursday nights from 10pm. Old episodes are on the iPlayer now but meanwhile here's a clip from this week's.

In this clip, it looks like the BBC has found a way to solve the gender pay gap.

See the full show BBC 2 10pm Thursdays



Watch the full Mash Report episodes here
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27/01/2018

Podcast ep18: Fake News, The Presidents Club and nice Camels

Get your pod on.

The Friday night show on BBC Radio Kent that reviews the week's news is now a podcast too. Edited highlights are packaged up into pod-form for you listening pleasure and it's free.

In this week's episode, S01E18, we hear about Donald Trump's fake news and how Theresa May is going to combat it, we hear about the pointless Pie Day and an even more pointless royal wedding.

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[Newspaper Column] Henry Bolton the Wanderer

Each week the Romford Recorder and Ilford Recorder have the Steve N Allen column. If you're around East London and West Essex you can buy the newspaper every Thursday/Friday, or follow @mrstevenallen to see the columns on Twitter. You can also read the archive of past ones, which can be found here.


You can click the image to zoom in on the paper, or read the column below.

Some say UKIP have lost profile since the Farage days.

After the election people stopped talking about UKIP as much but now they're back in the papers everyday because of Henry Bolton.

I was always of the opinion that a person's personal life was personal. Why should we judge someone by who they're going out with? I certainly have some exes I'd rather you didn't judge me by.

Does it speak to a politician's values? In France the right wing Sarkozy married the left leaning Carla Bruni and in UKIP while Nigel Farage was going round the UK telling us we don't need Europe he was marriage to a lady from Germany. I've often wondered if Brexit was an elaborate plot to avoid the in-laws.

Henry left his wife and a few months later started dating a model. Offensive texts came out that she'd sent about Meghan Markle and he left her but now says they may get back together in the future.

It's like Love Island. Although it would be an island with control of its borders.

Or maybe it's like a Ross and Rachel in Friends. Mr Bolton said in an interview, “The romantic side of the relationship is on hold.” If they are on a break the woman in the photocopy shop should watch out.

How do you put the romantic side on hold? Does he turn up to her bedroom window and plays Greensleeves?

Either way, on purpose or not, this has been marketing gold.

At a time when people buy gossip magazines and watch TV shows that are entirely based on couples maybe getting together and maybe not, this story has caught our eye.

OK, the news isn't talking about any actual policies of the party. So it really is just like the Farage days.

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25/01/2018

Mash Report: UKIP

You can catch Steve on BBC 2's The Mash Report on Thursday nights from 10pm. Old episodes are on the iPlayer now but meanwhile here's a clip from tonight's.

In this clip, if you have been worried about the issues with the leadership of UKIP there's good news.

See the full show BBC 2 10pm tonight (Thursday)


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22/01/2018

Podcast ep17: Trump Health and Henry Bolton

Poddytime!

The Friday night show on BBC Radio Kent that reviews the week's news is now a podcast too. Edited highlights are packaged up into pod-form for you listening pleasure and it's free.

In this week's episode, S01E17 as the bit torrent people would have it, we hear about how fit Donald Trump is and how a certain woman thinks UKIP's Henry Bolton is fit in a different way.

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15/01/2018

[Newspaper Column] Dartford Rip-Off

Each week the Romford Recorder and Ilford Recorder have the Steve N Allen column. If you're around East London and West Essex you can buy the newspaper every Thursday/Friday, or follow @mrstevenallen to see the columns on Twitter. You can also read the archive of past ones, which can be found here.


You can click the image to zoom in on the paper, or read the column below.

When I heard that the toll at the Severn bridges are to be scrapped at the end of the year I got excited t that the same might happen at Dartford. Sadly we heard there are no plans to scrap the Dartford toll.

When the charge was brought in they said it would be scrapped when then new bridge was paid for but the reneged on that.

We're so used to it when it's about a large bridge but think of it like this. You hired a builder to build you an extension. You set up a direct debit to pay for it. When you have paid for the work the builder says, "Actually, we're going to keep charging you?"

When asked to explain why tolls on the Dartford Crossing remain a Government spokesperson said that the charges at Dartford have not increased in more than three years.

"Dear builder, why are you still taking money out of my account for the extension even though it's paid off?"

"Erm, well, we haven't started taking more out, so shut it."

You would get upset and the builder would say, "Don't worry, we'll be using your money to help build a Lower Thames extension a few doors down."

Remember when the Pope said to Donald Trump we shouldn't be building walls we should be building bridge? Don't fall for it. You'll be paying that off forever.

This is a reminder that we're just cash cows. Why do we put up with it? We wouldn't in the case of a builder. We'd take them to court or call in Dominic Littlewood.

I would write letters to my member of parliament about it but I don't have the time. I spend most of my day queuing for a certain bridge.

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13/01/2018

Podcast ep16: Plastics and Gender Pay Gap

Poddytime!

The Friday night show on BBC Radio Kent that reviews the week's news is now a podcast too. Edited highlights are packaged up into pod-form for you listening pleasure and it's free.

In this week's episode, episode 16, I get paid more because I am a man, I spend that money on cauliflower steaks because I'm not smart, and we find out that Trump is the smarterest of all the smarts.

Subscribe to the podcast now to get it free every week.




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