07/12/2016

SomeNews v3.0 - ep5 - Brexit Look Back

SomeNews podcast

It's the new SomeNews Podcast.

In the all new v3.0 of the SomeNews podcast Steve N Allen and Erich McElroy chat through the news and bring you a handy digest of the latest. This time we do a look back at the Brexit vote.





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05/12/2016

The Austrian Election

This article is being written in Austria. Yes, the SomeNews website reports live from the country that has just had an election. The journey here was fun, and you can read about that here.

With Brexit and then Trump it looked like Austria would be the next place with a right-leaning win.

Well, on a national level. I know there have been other elections where a right-wing candidate has done well. At my local bridge club Ethel is now in charge and you do not want to get her talking about migration.

And Scarlett Moffatt was voted Queen of the Jungle in the TV show I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! and she might hate the Dutch, we have no evidence to prove or disprove that claim at this moment.

However, Austria rejected far-right presidential candidate Norbert Hofer. For everyone who complains at just how bad 2016 has been we can now say to them, “What? You wanted the far-right in that part of Europe? That ends well.”

It wasn’t simply a matter of far-right vs centre-left, which is kind of the situation in America. It was far-right vs quite-far-left Alexander Van der Bellen.

What does it mean? Well, possibly is means the right isn’t sweeping Europe but with Norbert Hofer getting 46% of the vote it might not mean that. 46% is a high proportion. In America it’s just about enough to win.

Only time will tell. There’s been another important election in Italy which I might report on when I arrive in the next country I’m going to. Not Italy. Hungary. But come on, the SomeNews site isn’t made of money and Hungary is close enough.

All that’s left to do is to say congratulations to Alexander Van der Bellen and his supporters. Not only do they have an election victory, they also got a bulk-buy discount on glasses.

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The Flight To Austria

It's SomeNews on tour. The stand-up show is off to Vienna and Budapest and as we all know, what happens on tour stays on tour, and that means if the shows don’t go well no one will mention it here.

As a preamble to the live shows here in central Europe, to the coverage of the Austrian election on this site and also to an item about plane seat sizes that will be on BBC Radio Kent on Thursday morning (8:15am to 8:20am) this is a summary of the flight to get here via the medium of Twitter.

I arrived at the airport 2 hours before my flight which was then delayed by 2 hours. I took it all in good spirits till I finally sat in my seat. I was sat next to a man who was already in more of my seat than I was (there's an artist's impression on the right). I thought he’d budge up a little but no, he simply seemed annoyed that I sat there, on a full plane.

That’s where we pick up the story.





































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03/12/2016

[Newspaper Column] Fine Time

Each week the Romford Recorder has the Steve Allen column. And now you can find it in the Ilford Recorder too. If you're around East London and West Essex you can buy the newspaper every Thursday/Friday, or follow @mrstevenallen to see the columns on Twitter. You can also read the archive of past ones, which can be found here.


You can click the image to zoom in on the paper, or read the column below.


My show is no stranger to controversy. Last week I was held up in traffic on the way into the radio station and took to the airwaves to rant about the inconsiderate BMW driver blocking the road just off the A127. It turned out the driver, Danielle, was listening. That show was tense.

I often call out bad drivers on the show, which means I have upset some white van drivers in the past but this week saw a news story make me jump to one van driver's defence.

A man was given a £200 fine for not having a "no smoking" sign in his work van even though he doesn't smoke. This is health and safety gone mad.

I'm a non-smoker and as a comedian I performed in clubs before the smoking ban came in. I remember how the smell would linger on your outfit after each show, so I was glad to see it banned, but as a non-smoker I don't want to be surrounded by no smoking signs.

I know it's against the law to smoke in a vehicle if it is used for work but it's also illegal to rob people or evade tax but we don't have to put signs up for that.

The irony is, if the driver, a Mr Trevor Emery, was caught smoking in the van he would have received a £50 fine, but the fine for not having the sign reminding him not to do the thing he doesn't do anyway, was four times that.

So now he has to find the money to pay the bigger fine, and it's not like he can get the extra cash by cutting back on things like smoking, because he's a non-smoker!

It must be stressful for him. It's enough to drive you to cigarettes.

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30/11/2016

SomeNews v3.0 - ep4 - Smoking, Trump and Loud Eaters

SomeNews podcast

It's the new SomeNews Podcast.

In the all new v3.0 of the SomeNews podcast Steve N Allen and Erich McElroy chat through the news and bring you a handy digest of the latest. This time it's Donald Trump and Farage again, annoying thing your co-workers do, no smoking signs and more.





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28/11/2016

Ed Balls, Adele and Exes [Podcast]

It was another cover show and we got round to talking about Ed Balls, Honey G, things you'd say to your ex (shame we didn't have Little Mix in the studio to answer that one) and Larry told us about Little Mix's money problems (so it's a good thing we didn't have Little Mix in the studio).

Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Monday 28th of November 2016.)




Download the mp3.

     | Subscribe with iTunes | Subscribe via RSS feed | | |

Get the info on how to listen to the show live here.

To find more radio show minipodcasts see here.
All past episodes can be found in the radio podcast archive.
And if you enjoyed that check out the SomeNews Topical Podcast.



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26/11/2016

[Newspaper Column] Post-Truth

Each week the Romford Recorder has the Steve Allen column. And now you can find it in the Ilford Recorder too. If you're around East London and West Essex you can buy the newspaper every Thursday/Friday, or follow @mrstevenallen to see the columns on Twitter. You can also read the archive of past ones, which can be found here.


You can click the image to zoom in on the paper, or read the column below.


They keep adding new words to the dictionary. I'm not sure why, I haven't used all of the old ones, although I try to get them into conversation, which is very argute of me. (I'm still in the As, so I have a lot to go.)

The word of the year from the Collins dictionary is "binge-watch", which means "to watch a large number of television programmes in succession" and isn't the job someone should have to stop me buying chocolate after a bad stand-up gig.

Meanwhile the Oxford English dictionary, the MumsNet to Collins' NetMums, says the word of the year is "post-truth". What a lovely way of saying utter lies.

They say we live in this post-truth world where things don't have to be true. It's claimed fake news stories on social media may have affected the outcome of the US election. That's the irony, in this post-truth world people don't post truth on their Facebook.

Or course we lie on social media. I had an ex who'd force us to take smiling selfies even during rows because she wanted her friends to think everything was perfect in her life.

Facebook was where people shared the story that the Pope endorsed Donald Trump. He didn't. But post-truth there's no point being upset so I made a press release saying the Pope always listens when I'm on the radio. I do a show on Sunday mornings so it's not believable but it's not about trust, it's about how it makes you feel.

Realising that no one cares about facts, no one wants to hear from experts if Michael Gove is right (but what would he know, he's an expert) and people care how something "feels" makes me want to give up and binge-watch a boxset instead. How very argute.

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23/11/2016

SomeNews v3.0 - ep3 - Trump, Tesco and Truth

SomeNews podcast

It's the new SomeNews Podcast.

In the all new v3.0 of the SomeNews podcast Steve N Allen and Erich McElroy chat through the news and bring you a handy digest of the latest. This time it's Donald Trump and Farage, the post-truth world, people who didn't vote and Tesco who all getting dealt with.





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Are Tesco Elitist?

Many would say the problem in this country has been the inequality between the elite and the rest of us. We had Cameron and Osborne running this country and it took a Brexit to get rid of the elite and replace them with a woman who went to Oxford.

But you expect the top levels of this nation to be a place that discriminated against we plebs. You don't expect it from Tesco. A branch of the supermarket made state school children queue while private pupils walked straight in.

Thanks for the metaphor Tesco. It's better that those kids get used to it now.

Professor Neil Pollock - and when your working-class representative is a professor you know you're doing well - tweeted that his son and the other pupils from the state school he went to were forced to queue and only allowed into the shop in small groups.

Meanwhile the nobs from George Watson’s College were allowed straight in without queuing.

Tesco tweeted back saying the "private school normally have a lesser amount of children which is quicker and easier for the store".

Hmm, I'm not sure saying, "there are fewer of that group" is an argument against it being elitist.

"There's only a handful of people went to Oxford university so it's OK if they want to face-screw a pig."

It's a difficult story to be angry about as, in general, anything that keeps children out of a shop is a good thing. It means I can go about my shopping business without fear of hearing, "Oh my days, dat tall bloke is like well bald," but letting some in and not others is unfair.

And while I think the advantages given to the posh are the things blocking social mobility in this country, easy access to a Tesco isn't the definition of privilege. I read about this story while queuing to pay in an M&S.

I didn't think that posh people went to Tesco and that goes to show how outdated my thinking is. Post-credit crunch the rich people can't afford the lifestyle they were used to, and now going to Tesco is the closest they get to owning a horse.

>Read the source story
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21/11/2016

Steve's Norway Adventure

When I'm not doing the radio stuff I can be found gigging all over the place. If you'd like to see me doing stand-up comedy there's a diary of some of the gigs I'm doing on the mrstevenallen website. If you spot a gig near you drop me a line and I'll give you all the details.

Recently I took the act to Norway. I learned a lot. They don't have the blight of PPI texts over there and they also don't have the chap in the toilets who does that "splash for gash" thing. It's a much better way of life.

In the venue I performed in they had unisex toilets. Or I took a wee in the ladies. I don't really know.

While I was out there I recorded a little feature on my time away. Here it is to listen to...

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20/11/2016

Recap The Week - 20/11/16

Well, what a week it's been. Here is a random collection of things that happened. Or maybe they didn't. This week we heard that the phrase that defines modern news is "post-truth". That's the best euphemism for bull***t I've heard. I'm no longer lying in my CV it's post-truth, which means I'm all very modern and trendy.

Facebook has started to look into how they can filter out the news stories that are fake, giving us the biggest irony of this story, the thing that people don't do now is actually post truth.

There's a worry that fake news on social media may have caused the outcome in the US election. The Donald met with our own Nigel Farage, pictured here…


...they can't even play rock-paper-scissors correctly. The world is doomed.

On a lighter note, I'm A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here is back on the TV. It's easy to mock them but it can't be easy, that Australian jungle is filled with annoying little critters...


And in sports news this happened...


...a lesser person would've said something about "drugs and hookers" but not me.

I was busy doing the weekly topical comedy show on BBC Kent, and you can listen back to it on the iPlayer for the next month. And you can read this week's newspaper column I do in the local papers.

And now, let's do the next week.




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