[Radio Podcast] Harrison Ford, Last Minute Gifts & Old Spice

The first of a special Christmas run of shows. In this we talk about last minute shopping options, the aftershaves that make men smell good, and @LarryEnts tells us what Harrison Ford has been up to.

Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Monday 22nd December 2014.)




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Comedy Podcast 63 - The Sony Hack vs Kim Jong-un North Korea Special

It's the SomeNews Podcast, episode 63.

In this podcast:

It's a special edition. The film The Interview's use of Kim Jong-un seems to have led to the Sony hacking and a whole lot of other trouble, so SomeNews presents a special edition where we look at the story plus bring together all of the past features we have done on North Korea.





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[Radio Podcast] Parking Rage, Bigger Things and Ads

In the last Sunday show before Xmas we talked about parking rage when you're out shopping, how some things are bigger these days, the TV adverts at Xmas are rubbish and you might be buying horse wee without even knowing it. Plus @LarryEnts told us about how Nancy Dell'Olio has had to sell off her clothes.

Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Sunday 21st December 2014.)




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Jamie Oliver's Addiction

TV chef Jamie Oliver says he's addicted to... not sleeping? Well, so am I, I do it once a day, and if I get a nap, twice a day. OMG, I've got a problem.

He says he's been averaging around three and a half hours a night which is about as much as Margaret Thatcher used to get every night, and look what she did. I don't think that was a direct link to the sleep though. I don't think she closed down the mines because she was cranky. Or maybe she was jealous that the minors got to spend ages in a dark place which would really have helped her relax.

Jamie said: "I'd sit down in the office, fall asleep, and start dribbling." That's because your tongue is too big for your face. He used to stick his tongue out so much during his TV shows I think he was Miley Cyrus's muse.

He added: "I feel like I should be admitting to being an alcoholic - people get that. But my thing is not sleeping."

Hmm, it's not exactly the same is it? If you can't sleep it messes up your life but it's not that you're addicted to being awake. Unless you've started a DVD boxset in which case it's exactly like that. You lose sleep, you keep saying, "I must stop," and yet you can't stop after each episode. And the next thing you know you find yourself turning tricks in Soho just to get some more Game of Thrones. Or maybe that was just me.

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News500 - Cosby, Scary Spice and The Porn Laws [Video]

A new addition to SomeNews, it's the News500 show. This is a topical comedy show looking at a variety of stories from national, international, entertainment and any other news.

In this episode SomeNews's Steve N Allen is along side Jim Tavaré, with musical comedy from Christian Reilly and a special appearance from Steve Cheriton.

We cover stories about Bill Cosby, Mel B, UKIP, North Pole territory claims and Russell Brand.



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[Radio Podcast] Xmas Works Dos and Rat Mating

It's Christmas work do season so we take a loot at the downside, foreign criminals coming into the UK, the mating techniques of rats and @LarryEnts tells us about Miley Cyrus doing the dirty.

Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Sunday 14th December 2014.)



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Comedy Podcast 62 - ID Theft, AI Worries and Counter Terrorism

It's the SomeNews Podcast, episode 62.

In this podcast:

Identity Theft
Artificial Intelligence Armageddon
Counter Terrorism Week
Chips





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Tory MP Crushes Candy

Conservative MP Nigel Mills has issued an apology for playing popular mobile puzzle game Candy Crush Saga during a Commons committee hearing. To be fair, he had the sound down and it is called a "hearing". Call it a Commons committee seeing and this never would've happened.

Nigel was caught playing the game on his tablet during a Work and Pensions Committee session on pensions. Good, because it would've been too ironic if he was doing that while they were talking about work.

I'd love to go on a rant about how this is a disgrace and how he should resign over such a lapse in judgement but, to be honest, that would make me a hypocrite. I've played on computer games when I should be working. Heck, I started the paragraph that ended with the hearing/seeing joke about an hour ago. I've spent more of the time since then on Miniclip.com.

Earlier on I played Candy Crush. I don't mean the mobile game, I just like upsetting. But we all do it, waste time when we should be working playing on our phones. It's been happening for years. I bet you wasted ages playing on Snake. I certainly played Snake. I don't mean the mobile game, I just like upsetting kids.

The MP for Amber Valley was said to have played Candy Crush Saga over a period of two-and-a-half hours. Wow. That's impressive. That's a long time to go without checking your Facebook.

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[Radio Podcast] Breastfeeding, Wishes and Rock Comet

Breast feeding has been in the news loads this week and every radio show has covered it, so we did too. And we get you ready to make wishes. @LarryEnts tells us about Louis Walsh's problems with Boyzone and... Rock Comet.

Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Sunday 7th December 2014.)



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An Ode To Black Friday

It looks like Black Friday is something else we have imported from America, along with the sitcom Friends and, by the look of things, obesity. The trouble with Black Friday is these great deals and bargains are all we need to turn into violent attackers. Everyone has a price and it seems most people's price is 20% off a microwave oven.

But, seeing as Black Friday is now a tradition it needs a festive poem we can read to each other sat around the fire. The fire of a burning down supermarket. And here it is.

'Twas 28 days before Christmas, when we all left the house,

to buy cheap computers, a keyboard and mouse.

We went to the shops to orderly queue up,

but as we saw the deals things started to screw up

The shoppers all wanted to get that TV,

but it was a bargain I wanted for me.

The people then pushed to get to my tech,

so I elbowed a pensioner square in the neck.

To save that precious 15 percent,

I swiftly spiralled in moral decent.

Slapping a child, prodding a stranger,

for 20-quid off I'd face any danger.

From orderly queue to violent melee,

we came to blows for the sake of a "telly".

I felt all butch, came over all manny.

So I pushed over a wheelchair and then slapped a granny.

"But what have I done for an electrical device?"

I gave myself over to pure "avarice".

I was a thug, so badly behaving,

all for a little financial saving.

I regret what I did as I sit here in jail...

...but I'll do it again in the January sale.

You can hear it read out here.

listen to ‘An Ode To: Black Friday’ on audioBoom

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Did Men Walk On Mars

A former NASA employee has spoked to the press about a secret mission to Mars that took place back in 1979. I don't know why they'd do something like that and keep it under wraps. I can only think that it was the 70s and part of the crew included a young person and a Radio 1 DJ.

The woman, who gave her name only as Jackie, so for the purposes of this article I'll call her Marc Almond, says she and some colleagues were monitoring images that were being sent back by the Viking Lander. In the images she saw people walking. On Mars!

I never understood why they sent dogs into space first and then humans who go for a walk. Send both at the same time because walking a dog is way more fun.

Anyway, she said: "I saw two men in space suits."

So either there was a mission to Mars back in the late 70s that successfully send man to the Red Planet and they managed a walk on the surface, or some office prankster at NASA got two mates walking behind her in in space suits so the reflection would show up on her screen. Either way, well done.

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