Cameron and Animals [Podcast]

David Cameron singing, a lynx on the run and llamas trying to stop the Tour de France. What is going on in the world? We do not find out in this podcast.

Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Tuesday 12th of July 2016.)




Download the mp3.

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Get the info on how to listen to the show live here.

To find more radio show minipodcasts see here.
All past episodes can be found in the radio podcast archive.
And if you enjoyed that check out the SomeNews Topical Podcast.

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Blue and Undressed [Podcast]

Some people up in Hull stripped off and were painted blue. Life is odd in the north. But it kicked off a radio show where we asked about places you have been without clothes and places you have been blue.

Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Monday 11th of July 2016.)




Download the mp3.

     | | | | |

Get the info on how to listen to the show live here.

To find more radio show minipodcasts see here.
All past episodes can be found in the radio podcast archive.
And if you enjoyed that check out the SomeNews Topical Podcast.

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Local Paper Review - 08-07-16

As part of the Afternoon Show, we're looking into the content of some of the local papers in the Essex area. This week we mention the Chilcot report, the problems with feeding chips to geese and a rename to a local service.

Edited down from the live radio broadcast into a podcast, you can listen back below.

There will be another episode broadcast on Friday at 2pm, and you can listen live here.



You can also download the mp3 here or subscribe to the RSS feed here. And it's now on iTunes.

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[Newspaper Column] Steve Allen Sausage

Each week the Romford Recorder has the Steve Allen column. If you're in the Romford area you can buy the newspaper every Friday, or follow @mrstevenallen to see the columns on Twitter. You can also read the archive of past ones, which can be found here.

You can click the image to zoom in on the paper, or read the column below.


There are many milestones in a man's life. I remember my first kiss, my first drink, my first iPhone. That was a busy day.

As you get older you seem to pass fewer milestones. I swear they're putting life's milestones further apart. I refused to admit I'm slowing down, in the same way I am convinced that my washing machine has been shrinking my jeans. It's jealous when it sees me using the cooker so much.

This week I passed a milestone I never thought I'd get to. I had a sausage named after me. As part of my afternoon show we had the guys in from Hawkins and Sons, the butchers in the Romford Shopping Hall. On sale for this week you can actually buy the Steve Allen Sausage.

It is an honour to be represented in meat form but it's hard to be taken seriously. While talking about my sausage or attempting to get people to try a nibble I have been met with nothing but a wall of, “Ooh er Missus,” or, “that's what she said.”

This is a serious issue for me. It's not everyday you get to launch your own meat product on an unsuspecting public but people keep laughing. I now have sympathy for whoever invented meatballs. And as for Mr Brain, when he invented his famous dish he must've suffered the same barrage of silly jokes. My heart goes out to him. Which might be one of his ingredients.

I ask you to maintain a sense of decorum as I say that the Steve Allen sausage is available this week in Romford from Hawkins and Sons. Get some and tweet me what you think of it. And if you can do that without making a joke you've passed a very big milestone indeed.

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Rio Olympic Update

Things are hotting up for the Rio Olympics. All the preparation work is well underway. Politicians are being paid off, mosquitoes are being asked to stay away from the lovely spending tourists, and now this...

Two German TV teams had their equipment stolen in Rio de Janeiro’s city centre.

Can I just say, it's a brave thief that tries to nick something in a city that is going to be filled with people who can run very fast.

Judo is an Olympic sport. Rio based pick-pockets are risking getting flung into their nearest pond whenever they go to work. And you do not want to be in a pond in Rio. That's where the mosquitoes hang out.

And even if they can't out run you or out Judo you, if you pick-pocket a javelin thrower, you'd better make sure you nick their javelin too, or you'll be wearing it through your torso.

A truck carrying two containers was heading to the Olympic Park when armed men intercepted it and held the driver hostage.

If anyone tries to sell you a truck load of TV equipment it might be a bit dodgy.

If they get caught, in related news...

“Brazilian company contractor that used to supply to ankle bracelets for those under house arrest has suspended its services due to non-payment.”

Brilliant. Of course you wouldn't pay. What's the worst that's going to happen? They take you to court, put you under house arrest? They've just stopped supplying the ankle bracelets!

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The Steve Allen Sausage [Podcast]

There is officially a Steve Allen sausage that you can get your hands on. It has a little seasoning and a nice amount of meat. Here's how it all happened.

Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Wednesday 6th of July 2016.)




Download the mp3.

     | | | | |

Get the info on how to listen to the show live here.

To find more radio show minipodcasts see here.
All past episodes can be found in the radio podcast archive.
And if you enjoyed that check out the SomeNews Topical Podcast.

Read More

[Newspaper Column] Bottomless News Pit

Each week the Romford Recorder has the Steve Allen column. If you're in the Romford area you can buy the newspaper every Friday, or follow @mrstevenallen to see the columns on Twitter. You can also read the archive of past ones, which can be found here.

You can click the image to zoom in on the paper, or read the column below.


The problem with doing a lot of radio is that you have to read a lot of news. News is non-stop these days and it doesn't matter how much you read you're no nearer finishing it. Reading Harry Potter may take ages, and while you're doing it you look odd on public transport, but at some point you'll finish it. News is a bottomless pit.

I worry that this bottomless pit is turning into that maths guy from Beautiful Mind because I have started to see patterns emerging from the news.

Think of David Cameron and Roy Hodgson. It seems there's a pattern of crashing out of Europe and having to resign. I'm no conspiracy theorist but if I were Graham Norton I wouldn't book too much work in after the next song contest he hosts.

In football the ball is often referred to as a pig skin but I can't find a way of linking that into the other story.

There's also a pattern that happens after a referendum. From the Scottish independence one to the EU one it seems that whoever loses proudly puts there percentage on their Twitter profiles. There are Scottish people who proclaimed “We are the 45” and now people saying “We are the 48”. That's the problem with a referendum, anything under 50 is just underlining that you lost.

Some people want a second referendum. I'm uncomfortable with doing something over and over again till you get the result you want. That's why we have bad drivers out there who passed on their 37th attempt.

Sometimes, the matter at hand require action though, so I have started a petition to have the whole thing rerun. I say we demand that we get to play Iceland again. Surely we can't be that bad twice.

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Let's Get The Show Started [Podcast]

The podcasts are back. In the show I have a story about a woman who walked into a shop, and we never get to hear it. We certainly try out best to have a show though.

Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Monday 4th of July 2016.)




Download the mp3.

     | | | | |

Get the info on how to listen to the show live here.

To find more radio show minipodcasts see here.
All past episodes can be found in the radio podcast archive.
And if you enjoyed that check out the SomeNews Topical Podcast.

Read More

Local Paper Review - 10-06-16

As part of the Afternoon Show, we're looking into the content of some of the local papers in the Essex area. This week we mention the EU referendum, the point of view people have on migrants and is it right for a school to let its pupils watch football?

Edited down from the live radio broadcast into a podcast, you can listen back below.

There will be another episode broadcast on Friday at 2pm, and you can listen live here.



You can also download the mp3 here or subscribe to the RSS feed here. And it's now on iTunes.

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What WAS the E.U.?

Remember the episode of Fawlty Towers with the Germans? As Basil builds up to the "You started it" moment there's a bit where he speaks about joining Europe. He says, "I didn't vote for it myself, quite honestly, but now that we're in, I'm determined to make it work."

Part of me wants to do the "out" version of that. I want to say, "I didn't vote for it myself, quite honestly, but now that we're out, I'm determined to make it work." It's democracy and just because you don't agree with the will of the people doesn't mean you should stop them.

A petition to hold a second referendum quickly gained the required 100,000 signatures to be considered for discussion in parliament. I'm not sure we'll be left in there to discuss it. Corbyn may be going. Cameron is going. Looks like we will have a massive Johnson as a Prime Minister soon.

Wanting a "do over" till you get the result you want seems wrong. That's why we end up with so many bad drivers on the road who passed on their 35th attempt. Just when I was about to settle in and accept the result with good grace I spotted this.

"What is the E.U.?" is second most popular question Googled in Britain.

So some people voted in the referendum before they worked out what they were voting about? If you don't know what the EU is without the aid of Google maybe you shouldn't be allowed to vote. Maybe a little test should be included on the ballot. Nothing too complicated, the first part asked you if you want to:

"Leave" ☐
Or "Remain in" ☐

Then the second part gives you a multiple choice

The EU ☐
The FA ☐
Or BHS ☐

I'm not saying it would solve the problem but it would help. I have suggested in the past we have an AV voting system with 9 candidates on the ballot, you number your choices 1 to 9, but then that's connected to a su doku and if it isn't filled in correctly it's a spoiled ballot.

I'm not suggesting the votes from the people who didn't know what they were voting about would have been for leave or remain but it seems that some people may have been taking a side without really thinking about it.

Does that mean we should consider that petition and hold a second EU referendum? Well, do you think the people who only just Googled the EU actually bothered to read anything on that search results page?

Definitely No ☐
Or Not A Chance ☐

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Should You Bless Yourself In Public [Podcast]

I saw a woman do something on the Jubilee Line in London while on her own and I didn't know what to make of it. So we made a radio show of it.

Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Wednesday 8th of June 2016.)




Download the mp3.

     | | | | |


Get the info on how to listen to the show live here.

To find more radio show minipodcasts see here.
All past episodes can be found in the radio podcast archive.
And if you enjoyed that check out the SomeNews Topical Podcast.

Read More

Superstition Proved Right [Podcast]

This is a special podcast made from two days of radio shows where the story carried on. It started with a slight itch and grew into a whole show about superstitions. And I made £20 out of it.

Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Monday 6th and Tuesday 7th of June 2016.)




Download the mp3.

     | | | | |


Get the info on how to listen to the show live here.

To find more radio show minipodcasts see here.
All past episodes can be found in the radio podcast archive.
And if you enjoyed that check out the SomeNews Topical Podcast.

Read More

Coffee Spill and June [Podcast]

This show was all about a coffee spillage and a slight grumble about the weather. And yet somehow it turns into a whole show. It probably defies modern science.

Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Wednesday 1st of June 2016.)




Download the mp3.

     | | | | |




Get the info on how to listen to the show live here.

To find more radio show minipodcasts see here.
All past episodes can be found in the radio podcast archive.
And if you enjoyed that check out the SomeNews Topical Podcast.

Read More