04/11/2017

The Right Burger Emoji

Google is a massive company so when its CEO promises to "drop everything" to address a problem you know it must be a serious issue.

They make the Chrome browser so one's mind goes to the doomsday scenario, "Can people see my Internet history?!"

It turns out the issue they are having to deal with is about an emoji.

If you don't know what an emoji is, it's a small image that you can text to send to someone to explain what you mean. In the recent batch of new emojis there is one for a burger. I don't know why you need that. If the person you're texting doesn't know what the word burger means I'm not sure they'll get the rest of your text.

Apple's burger emoji goes as follows, base bun, lettuce, burger, cheese, tomato and top bun. Google's emoji goes base bun, cheese, burger, tomato, lettuce and top bun.

I can't believe people care about such a small detail. Don't have better things to do with out time?

Having said that Google got it totally wrong. The cheese should always go on top of the burger so it melts over it.

But Apple puts the lettuce on the bottom bun. So all the fat from the burger doesn't seep into the bread it gets caught in the grooves of the lettuce so when you go to eat it the juices run right onto your shirt.

I put forward this solution. Bottom bun, burger, cheese, lettuce, tomato and then top bun. The lettuce keeps the tomato juice off the cheese but it can soak into the upper bread. Sorted.

So now the resources of Google have been focussed on sorting out this problem. They'd got themselves in a right pickle.

But where does the pickle go? We'll have to start all over again.


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