Inflation News

It's that time of year again when they create a fictional shopping basket to work out the rate of inflation. They look at the cost of the items in that basket and work out how much the pound buys you. If that basket were a Poundland one we could save a lot of time.

There are around 700 items in this basket and yet I bet they'd still take it to the 10 items or less queue.

The new items added into this basket include cycle helmets and gin, which makes you wonder how much gin they are buying that they think, “I'm gonna need a cycle helmet tonight”?

Also on the shopping list is rice milk. I've never understood that. How do you milk rice? You must have tiny little buckets and stools.

Chocolate digestive biscuits are now in the shopping basket. We're eating so many biscuits now it's not just inflation that's going up. If we keep on like this the shopping basket will have to include trousers with elasticated waists.

They have also put scooters in the basket. How many scooters are you getting through that you need to buy them on a regular basis? Maybe if you didn't eat so many biscuits you wouldn't break so many scooters.

Bog-standard mobile phone handsets are being removed but if you were buying a lot of pay-as-you-go handsets you were probably a drug dealer.

Smartphones, however, are in the basket because these days they are selling like hot cakes, which if it's a Galaxy Note 7 is one of the warning signs.

One thing is for sure, with a basket full of 700 items including some as big as a scooter I bet the people at the Office for National Statistics wish they'd have spent a pound and got a trolley.


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