In the minipodcast we hear from listeners about their favourite Tube station on the London Underground, Tom from McFly's wedding and that problem of the onesie.
To find more radio show minipodcasts see here.
Download the mp3
09/01/2013
[Radio Minipodcast] 9th Jan 2013 - Tubes, Birthdays and Tom McFly
In the minipodcast we hear from listeners about their favourite Tube station on the London Underground, Tom from McFly's wedding and that problem of the onesie.
To find more radio show minipodcasts see here.
Download the mp3
Keep It In The Family
If I had a pound for every time I've read that. OK, mainly in my own porn fiction that I write and submit to websites, but still.
In Manchester, Connecticut, Aric Ryan Hale and Sean Peter Hale had an open relationship with the woman, aged 27. She didn't realise that she was dating two men? But surely she should've guessed. Her boyfriend always had energy. He looked like he was really listening when she told him about how the women she works with were rude to her, even when he was being told it for a second time. And he was ready for a second round of sex after a quick trip to the bathroom with an open window.
As it turns out, she did know. She was dating both twins at the same time. She certainly has "a type". Sean wanted to have sex with their girlfriend. He asked Aric to leave, only for his request to be refused. So they came to blows. Shame they had a row, because it sounds like it would've come to blows one way or another.
The girlfriend admitted to police that she is sexually involved with both brothers, and that who she's with depends on "who she chooses to be with that particular day". What a great plan, and if there's an accident and she get's pregnant, not even a Jeremy Kyle DNA test would work out who the father is.
>Read the source story
08/01/2013
Colin Trevorrow on Safety Not Guaranteed [Interview]
Watch the video below to see what he said...
See it on YouTube
And you can read my review of Safety Not Guaranteed here.
[Radio Minipodcast] 8th Jan 2013 - Cups, Signs and Tats
In the minipodcast we hear from listeners about their favourite mug to drink from, the warning signs that should be added to life, and something about tattoos.
To find more radio show minipodcasts see here.
Download the mp3
Warning, Don't Put Clothes On Barbecue, Duh!
That conjures up such an imagine. She had her smalls on the barbecue, they wanted to eat, the next thing they're stood their chewing thinking, "This hotdog tastes a lot like pants."
But that's not the way it happened. She wanted to dry her clothes quickly, so she lit the barbecue indoors, put her wet items on there and let it kick out carbon monoxide into the house. She then left the house.
What? If you have gone to the effort of lighting a barbecue (and as a man who takes charge of such matters when the weather is right, it can be hard to light them) you might as well do yourself some sausages. Don't just leave it.
I know she wanted clean clothes but that could've been much worse. The whole family has been treated and discharged from hospital. But it could've caused a house fire. If you go out and come home to see your house on fire, you'll need at least a clean pair of pants.
Christine McGourty, of the 'Carbon Monoxide - Be Alarmed!' campaign, said: "Using a barbecue indoors is always dangerous."
No kidding. So don't try to dry your clothes on a barbecue indoors. Or if you do, try for a while, fail to get it lit and end up putting your clothes in the oven like you have to do with food every summer.
>Read the source story
04/01/2013
Agonise Podcast: Three and Easy Sex Not for Me
This episode features a letter from a woman whose friends are trying to talk her into being the third wheel on their sex trike (yep, I'm good at this dirty talk, as you can see). To find out more, listen below.
Download the mp3.
Hear all the Agonise podcasts here
Kate Middleton's Biscuit Cure
Apparently Kate Middleton has been eating lavender shortbread biscuits to help with her acute morning sickness. Well, isn't she just little miss perfect. Firstly, even her morning sickness is cute, and secondly, lavender shortbread biscuits? That means when she farts it's like a Glade plug-in going off.
I didn't realise but lavender has long been used as an anti-nausea remedy, although pregnant women are usually advised to administer it in the form of a few drops of oil in the bath. So instead of taking it in the usual way she has it baked into a cookie. Looks like she's been taking advice from Harry.
According to the newspapers it wasn't Harry who gave her the advice, it was her hubby's stepmother, the Duchess of Cornwall, who is known to be a fan of lavender biscuits.
And sugar cubes.
And do you know who makes these lavender shortbread biscuits? They're Prince Charles's Duchy Originals. She's eating her father-in-laws biscuits. She really has everything handed to her on a plate now.
The newspaper also listed other things that are good to prevent morning sickness, which included ginger tea, lemon balm, peppermint and nuts.
They're right. If you have a pair of nuts you aren't going to be the one who suffers from morning sickness.
>Read the source story
03/01/2013
Rihanna Snapped By The Paps
This week nude pictures of Rihanna on a balcony in Barbados came out. And no one was remotely surprised.
I only saw this story on the web, 24-hour rolling news couldn't give a crap, and the public would've been more surprised if she was wearing a big woolly jumper.
It just goes to show, it's not about the pictures, it's about the person. Photos taken with a long-distance lens lose their impact when they're of a woman who often tweets close ups of her own near-nudity.
She's posted so many rude pictures on Instagram. Nude pictures on Instagram look weird. The photos looks like it's from the 70s but the pubic hair really doesn't.
How can this news story teach us something? Well, if the Royal family want to make sure the newspapers won't print any future pictures of a topless Kate Middleton, just make sure she Instagrams lots of rude ones.
I'm here to help.
>Read the source story
02/01/2013
Fat vs Fit
Carrying some extra pounds can keep you alive longer. That means my personal trainer has been effectively trying to kill me. That's out of order. Oooh, I could kill him... but he's way fitter and stronger than me, so I won't bother.
It means that all those thin people who look down on the rest of us have lost their moral high ground. Now if you want to get fit you have to admit that it's not about getting healthy, you just want to look good when you get your kit off.
The study shows that people who are modestly overweight have a 6% lower rate of premature death from all causes than people of ideal, "healthy" weight.
All causes is a big list, and I assume it's in the "unlikelier" part of the list when the big people start to do better than the thinnies. Like "death by falling down a cattle grid" or "being blown away in a strong wind". Or even a general "snapping". The thin people are far more likely to succumb.
More common deaths are probably thwarted by fatness too:
Suffering a fall = more likely to bounce
Stabbing = less likely to reach organs
Drowning = more buoyant
Starvation = Well, duh!
>Read the source story
Harry Styles Gets Granny Sex Advice
A granny talking about sex? Wayne Rooney would flipping love it.
I don't know what it was like but I hope it want along the lines of, "You meet a girl, you start courting for a few years, get married, and none of that funny business."
Harry said in an interview: "My grandma gave me one three weeks ago."
My word, I hope he sex just the talk. I know GCSEs these days are more about practical learning but you can take that too far.
Harry said, "It was just too much. I was like 'You can just stop there!'"
Which was also probably her advice on contraception.
Whatever her sex advice was, I hope he listened. At the moment he's just know for One Direction. And you need more than just one for some good sex.
>Read the source story
01/01/2013
New Speed Limits For The UK
"Well, now you're just being ridiculous," they'll say. "But if it saves just one life," you can retort.
In the same report we heard that the Government is "backing away" from their plans to increase the speed limits on motorways to 80mph.
All those sci-fi films where they showed the near future, with cars zooming along at 200mph, lied to us. Computers get faster, planes get faster, even humans at the Olympics get faster. But for some reason, as society and technology develops, the cars are getting slower.
Motorway driving is actually some of the safest driving you can do. All the cars are going in the same direction. Thanks to the two carriageways you can't have a head on collision, and the number of accidents on the M-roads are much lower per mile than the A-roads. So, why don't they increase the speed limit to 80mph? Well, if it saves just one life... Right?
However, motoring organisations have tried to come up with arguments against it. They have said the 20mph speed zones could make exasperated motorists drive badly, which could lead to more accidents. Here's a top tip that will solve that problem. If you're driving behind someone who is doing 20mph, don't drive into the back of them. It seems simple when I've told you the answer.
Some people are saying that the councils want to lower the speed limits because it will bring in more in speeding fines. While they may be true in some cases, there are certainly some roads that deserve a safer speed limit. Dropping speed limits in certain areas "at certain times" makes sense. Any road near a school should be a 20mph road, as you can never be sure if a child is going to run out into the road. But if you're driving along that road at 1am, you should be allowed to be 30mph. If there's a child leaving the school at that time, they clearly had such a long detention they're wrong 'uns.
The answer to this, as with so much in life, is to be reasonable. Don't use an emotional response, think about it rationally.
Oh, and if it saves just one life... it's not a very efficient improvement is it?
>Read the source story
Man Returned From The Dead, Then Gets Dumped
In her defence, the vows say "till death do us part", and she'd kept her side of the bargain. Read the small print, buster.
47-year-old Igor Faber disappeared while on a hike in the Tatra mountains near his home in Poprad, Slovakia, in 1993. After months of searching he was presumed dead.
But he was recently found, which shows something. If you rise from the dead after a few days people think you're the son of God, but if you drag your heels for 19 years you're just a loser.
As it turns out (spoiler alert) he never actually died. He had secretly walked out on his wife and children to start a new life. He was found living in a homeless shelter in Prague during a routine check for missing persons.
Being walked out on must be terrible, but being walking out on to live in a homeless shelter is a real slap in the face.
His former wife Renata refused to take him back when she was contacted by the police, for some unfathomable reason.
She said: "How can I take him back after all this time? Life has moved on. The children have a new father, I have a new husband. If he couldn't be bothered to contact us, then I don't see why I should change my life again. Clearly he didn't want us, so now we don't want him."
You go girlfriend. Plus, if he's come back from the dead he's technically a zombie. So if you see him again, aim for the head.
>Read the source story
Happy New Year!
Over the last year it's been fun writing news items, podcasts and even live shows about the news. We've seen an increase in web traffic, more listeners to the podcast, and even more subscribers to the free e-newsletter.
So what does 2013 hold? Well, more of the same. We'll keep trying to cover more news, more strange stories and more front pages. And SomeNews will be bringing together more podcasts, the official SomeNews one, the Agonise podcast, and maybe a few more (details to come on those).
The SomeNews Live Show will be at the Leicester Comedy Festival, and possibly some other festivals through the year.
Before we get too far away from 2012, you can listen to the podcast review of the year...
...and read the round up for the news in the monthly reviews of 2012.
August|September|October|November|December
Thanks for reading SomeNews, and have a happy 2013.
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