Sofa King Weird

Maybe you once had to call a reupholsterer round to take a look at your furniture. Maybe they had bad news for you. Maybe they said, "Hmm, that sofa's f***ed!" But if they did they didn't mean it as much as they could've done about one man's seating.

US resident Gerard Streator has pleaded guilty to having sex with a sofa. It's easy to be judgemental but to be honest I haven't seen the sofa, maybe it's hot. And whatever a consenting man and a consenting piece of furniture do in the privacy of their own home is their business.

But that's the problem, he wasn't at home. He was out in public having sofa sex when an off-duty policeman saw him. Officer Ryan Edwards reportedly said that he saw "a subject leaning over the couch facing down and it looked like he was having sexual relations with someone on the couch."

That would've been a great excuse. When the cop caught him Gerard should've said, "What? Where did she go? There was a woman right here when I started."

The officer reported that Streator "has been thrusting his pelvic area against the cushions and trying to sexually gratify himself by rubbing his penis between the two cushions."

But the question is, why would you do that in public? I know that some people like outdoors sex because it adds excitement. Yeah, that's the problem with having a sexual relationship with a sofa, you get too comfortable.

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