A man was forced to call the emergency services after a toilet roll holder got stuck up his bottom at his house in Newport, South Wales. I'm not sure which of the emergency services you'd ask for. Police, if you consider it breaking and entering. Cave rescue if it's really really far in?
This news story isn't reported in the usual "999 time wasting calls" section that most newspapers love. I guess it was a valid 999 call. And if it wasn't, just set fire to the toilet roll and suddenly it's a very urgent call to the fire brigade.
Firemen then removed the object, with paramedics providing medical attention at the scene.
Whichever newspaper you read this in you don't get to find out why he had the holder crammed up his wrong one, but it's a safe bet that his wife got sick of telling him to put a new roll on when he's used the last piece.
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