Squid Gets Woman Pregnant

Worrying headline of the day: "A 63-year-old woman has become 'pregnant' with 12 baby squid after eating calamari."

Well, at least she got dinner first.

The South Korean woman was eating a whole cooked squid when she felt a sharp pain in her mouth. When the lady was examined, doctors found 'baby cephalopods' attached to her mouth - small pods covered in a sticky material.

I didn't think you could get pregnant in the mouth. That has been a fact I have been spreading around for years. It's the only reliable form of contraception. I'd say they should teach it in schools but I don't want kids these days to have a better time than I had back then.

According to a report from the the National Centre for Biotechnology Information: "She did not swallow the portion, but spat it out immediately. She complained of a pricking and foreign-body sensation in the oral cavity."

I'm sure that's not how she said it. This has never happened.

WOMAN1: "Ouch""
WOMAN2: "What is it?"
WOMAN1: "Ow. I've got a foreign-body sensation."
WOMAN2: "Nasty. Where is it?"
WOMAN1: "Right in the oral cavity!"

It went on: "Twelve small, white spindle-shaped, bug-like organisms stuck in the mucous membrane of the tongue, cheek, and gingiva were completely removed, along with the affected mucosa. On the basis of their morphology and the presence of the sperm bag, the foreign bodies were identified as squid spermatophores."

So the headline really should've been: "Woman goes out for a meal and ends up with sperm in her mouth." But that's not as shocking. That happens to anyone who is rude to the waiter.

>Read the source story


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