On the front page of the Mirror there's a picture of something odd behind Simon Cowell's ear. When I first saw it I thought, "OMG, that's a hearing aid. Simon Cowell is deaf." And suddenly a lot of the music he was responsible for made sense.On closer inspection is seems to be some sort of plaster. Speculation in the paper is that Cowell has had a Hollywood-style nip and tuck on his neck. That's where they get together some useless saggy flesh and get rid of it. Like when he once sacked Louis Walsh from The X Factor.
There is a risk of scarring and as time goes on the saggy flesh could come back. Like when Louis Walsh came back to X Factor.
What else could it be? It's not a part of the body where you tend to pick up injuries. If you get a nasty paper cut there your filing system needs work.
In the Mirror, Lesley Reynolds Khan, co-founder of Harley Street Skin Clinic, said she thought it bore the hallmarks of a procedure. She said: "It looks like a neck lift in which they cut behind the ears, remove the skin and 'redrape it'."
I then spat my drink across the room and said, "They do what? And why is a red one worse than any other one?"
Simon isn't the first X Factor judge to have work done. Louis Walsh had a £30,000 hair transplant, as well as the bags under his eyes removed. Dannii Minogue had fake boobies after her divorce and plenty of botox, and Sharon Osbourne has had so much done she's less human than Robocop.
So what if Simon Cowell has had his neck pulled up a bit. With any luck it means the rest of his body has all moved up a bit too. He can go back to wearing his trousers up to his armpits and his nips will still be above the belt.
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