Cheryl Cole & Simon Cowell Fight For Louis

The Sun's front page tells us: "Cheryl and Si battle over Louis"

And you think, "Aw, that's sad. Well, maybe Cheryl should get custody and Simon can take him to the zoo on the weekends."

It turns out the issue is that they don't agree on whether Louis Walsh should still be on the show. Simon is keen on keeping Louis on the show, probably because of his years of experience but more probably because Louis has some photos somewhere just in case.

Meanwhile Cheryl has said: "I would prefer another woman." Which kind of makes Louis the perfect compromise, but they don't see it that way.

It's a tricky issue to resolve as Simon had previously said: "When Cheryl came back we decided we'd agree together. I'm not going to put someone beside her who she hates." Bad news for Lilly Allen. And most toilet attendants.

So it looks like the next series of X Factor might not feature Louis Walse. Oh well, he'll just have to go back to... erm, well he can do his other work of... erm... what age can you get the state pension now?

>Read the source story
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