Crowdfunded Gives Us Autoblow 2

Technology has given us the washing machine to save us walking down to the river to scrub our pants, the microwave oven to save us hours of cooking time and even the mobile phone so you don't have to actually see anyone. But there are some everyday domestic tasks that we are still reliant on getting someone to do it for us. Well, not any more.

A man called Brian Sloan has invented the Autoblow 2, a machine that takes the human error out of oral sex.

He came up with the idea and listed it on a crowdfunding site looking to get $45,000. "Who in their right mind would put there money towards such an idea?" you may think, "He'll never get $45,000." And indeed he didn't. He got $280,247.

It uses motors to stimulate the male thingy so you can just sit back and enjoy it. They've found a way to save us the calories from wanking. This could finally be the thing that tips the West into the obesity crisis.

Apparently the man behind this says there is no risk of electrocution with the Autoblow 2, which makes you wonder what went wrong with the Autoblow 1 we're not being told about.

But no thank you. Like organic veg, there are some things in this world I prefer being done the natural way, and I don't mind paying slightly more for. I will not be trying the Autoblow 2.

But if Dyson bring one out...

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