You Won’t Believe What Lulu Doesn’t Do (You Really Will)

When you interview a celeb you hope to have a moment in the interview that goes viral. All you need is one answer to a question that is shocking and the whole interview will have been worth it.

The celebs must want the same thing too. No one does an interview in the hope that no one notices. Even with both parties working in concert sometimes you really have to reach to make an answer seem shocking. Here is a case study.

The Mirror newspaper had the headline: “Lulu reveals one thing she refuses to do before 12pm and it's almost unimaginable.”

Obviously our minds try to guess what it could be and we all think of something that’s rude. Is it the old, freelancers lie down? A hand shandy? Some Lulu special time?

Of course it’s not that, sadly. Why would someone in a celebrity interview with the BBC boast that they can hold off from self-abuse till midday? It rather implies that as soon as the clock has done striking 12 she’d be on herself like a drunk and of office party.

In the article in the Mirror it takes five paragraphs of building up the suspense before they finally reveal…

"I don't speak before 12 noon."

Oh. Yeah, sure. That makes sense. When I used to live on my own I did that because I didn’t walk round the flat talking to myself. Heck, when I was a student I didn’t talk till 12pm mainly because I didn’t wake till 1pm.

Lulu said: "I can understand why you think I'm lying but no, I'm very disciplined."

Why would anyone lie about that? It’s not the same as boasting that you recycle, only buy organic food and regularly buy Te Big Issue. You don’t talk till midday and you’re a famous singer. People in your profession have done much weirder things. You technically have the same job as Ozzy Osbourne. In comparison you are not non-weird one.

Lulu added: "I try not to come out of my room until 12. It makes it easier. I take care of my instrument.”

I knew it was masturbation!

» Read the source story

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