[Radio Podcast] House Guests & Simon Cowell

This week's show looked at the annoying things house guests do, Simon Cowell's little baby, and the biggest news of all, the fact that I didn't get a coffee on the way in because of some builders. Ooooh, builders. Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Sunday 16th February 2014.)

I'm back doing the show on Time 107.5 in Essex next Sunday from 7am till midday. For details on how to listen see this section. And I'm on radio Monday to Friday in Reading on Reading 107, 2pm to 7pm.



Download the mp3 or ogg

    

To find more radio show minipodcasts see here.
And if you enjoyed that check out the SomeNews Topical Podcast.

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Hugh Jackman Hosts The Tonys

Just been reading up on some entertainment news. Hugh Jackman is to return as the host of the Tony Awards.

OK. I'd guess, best Tony goes to Tony Hancock maybe. Best living Tony, erm, Sir Anthony Hopkins. Maybe a special acting award to him, or maybe to Tony Blair, depending on your view on the Iraq war.

Long shots would include Tony Hadley for best singing Tony and half of Toni & Guy might get best hairdressing Tony but it's only going to add tension to that partnership.

Anyway, it'll be the actor's fourth time taking charge of the ceremony. Jackman actually won an Emmy for his hosting duties in 2004.

I think that's weird, Hugh Jackman won an Emmy? I bet Emma Thompson was gutted. I thought she was a shoe-in.

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[Radio Podcast] Happy Thoughts & Sochi News

This week on the radio show we were asking for your happy news to cheer up some penguins, we heard the latest Sochi fails from the Winter Olympics, and of course we talk about Justin Bieber, like we have for the last few weeks. Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Sunday 9th February 2014.)

I'm back doing the show on Time 107.5 in Essex next Sunday from 7am till midday. For details on how to listen see this section. And I'm on radio Monday to Friday in Reading on Reading 107, 2pm to 7pm.



Download the mp3 or ogg

    

To find more radio show minipodcasts see here.
And if you enjoyed that check out the SomeNews Topical Podcast.

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Robber Robs Rubbers

Just when you start to lose faith in humanity, how about this? A man walked into a service station in Australia with a gun, sticks it in the face of the poor cashier, forces them to hand over cash and on his way out, he stopped to pick up some condoms. Wow. Some people are so thoughtful. Often men leave it up to the women to nick their own contraception. And hey, if any crook is putting the effort in to not reproduce we should all be happy.

This means, later that night, he'll be in bed with his loved one, and she'll say, "Have you got any protection?" And he'll say, "Well, I've got this gun..." And they'll laugh.

It definitely is the action of a man on a promise because the news article also said he "demanded cash and cigarettes". So he has the post-coital smoke sorted.

He was described as being of Caucasian appearance, about 170 centimetres tall, and wearing a black beanie and runners.

He wears a beanie hat? OK, scrap that. He should've just nicked a magazine and some tissues.

>Read the source story

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Woman Rides Horse In Tesco

Have you heard of the NekNomination craze? It's all over social media and it's where people do dares and it ends with a drink. It's like the total opposites to many one-night stands.

Well, police want to talk to a woman who rode a horse into Tesco to complete a NekNomination challenge. I suppose the drink that you have at the end of that dare could be from their value range. She's saving money on this NekNomination. Every little helps.

21-year-old Inky Ralph was filmed riding into a Tesco Express in Bishop Auckland, County Durham. Admittedly it's not the first time a horse has been in Tesco but this one wasn't in a pack of 6.

She said: "It was something nobody else had done. It was just harmless fun." Harmless fun? I heard a story of someone who took a horse into a shop and it pooed on someone. That poor person was left covered in star and horse poo. He was said to be in a stable condition. Thank you, I'm here all week.

>Read the source story

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Might As Well Face It, You're Addicted To Eyeshadow

A woman in America has an unusual problem, she's addicted to eating eyeshadow. She has decided to stop after doctors warned her it could be fatal. I'm not sure how it could end up fatal, unless you're not taking it from the tray, you're trying to lick it off the face of someone who's violent.

Brittoni, from Ohio, said: "It's just like a craving of your favourite candy bar." Yes it is. If your favourite candy bar tasted horrible and was made of minerals. I suppose they are low carb but it can't be good for you. Her boyfriend Josh said: "When she eats makeup, she looks like a clown went crazy." That's the look that I imagine women have after they do their make-up on the London Underground on the way into work, but somehow they never do.

Anyway, the 22-year-old said that she enjoys consuming eyeshadows, up to as many as 15 a day, and mostly loves the metallic grey, white and brown colours.

There's your problem, Brittoni. You're not getting enough greens.

>Read the source story

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[Radio Podcast] Doing Lines & Fear of Clowns

This week on the radio we were talking about Johnny Depp's fear of clowns, the plan by Michael Gove to bring back old forms of school punishment, more on Justin Bieber and probably a few other bits. Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Sunday 2nd February 2014.)

I'm back doing the show on Time 107.5 in Essex next Sunday from 7am till midday. For details on how to listen see this section. And I'm on radio Monday to Friday in Reading on Reading 107, 2pm to 7pm.



Download the mp3

    

To find more radio show minipodcasts see here.
And if you enjoyed that check out the SomeNews Topical Podcast.

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Tattooed Man Has Banned Name

I've often toyed with the idea of changing my name legally. I don't have a problem with being called Steve but it's hardly the most thrilling of names. I was thinking of changing it to "Your Highness". At least that way, when I get pulled over by the police they would be forced to treat me with a level of respect I think I deserve.

Turns out, there are some downsides to having a silly name. For a start, most people will assume your parents were celebs, but more importantly it can lead to administration issues. Britain's most tattooed man changed his name to "King of Ink Land King Body Art The Extreme Ink-Ite" and now he can't get a passport. Even if he could get one, imagine the size of the thing to fit that on it.

Previously known as Mathew Whelan, he changed his name probably because he wanted to stand out from the crowd, as if being covered in drawings wasn't enough for the crowd to get the hint. He passport renewal was rejected on the grounds his new name was not appropriate. Because as well all know "King of Ink Land King Body Art The Extreme Ink-Ite" is a girl's name.

"This is a breach of my human rights", King said, "They want to put my birth name on my passport. But that is not my name any more."

Hmm, human rights gets brought up a lot. As soon as something does go the way a person wants it to they go on about human rights. Do we really have an innate right to be called by ridiculous names? Does calling someone by an old name really hurt their existence?

As much as I think people misuse the human rights angle, in this story, it doesn't matter what he puts on his passport. Let's be honest, you'd recognise that face.

>Read the source story

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SomeNews Live at the Leicester Comedy Festival [Ended]

The show has past now, shame you missed it. Find out when the next live show is in the Live Gig section.

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Mr Steve N Allen's SomeNews Live Show comes to the Leicester Comedy Festival


Come and see Steve and his show all about the news.  From the big news, to the smaller stories and the really odd things happening in the world.

It's an hour of topical comedy, stand-up, chat and fun, maybe even a little social commentary.  In this show we look at the weather disasters, the benefits culture and how news can improve your sex life.

Taking place on Saturday 22nd February, with the show starting at 7:30pm (doors open at 7:15pm, so don't be late), the SomeNews Live Show is on at...

  Kayal Restaurant 
  153 Granby Street
  Leicester 
  LE1 6FE

Tickets are just £6 if you book now, and you can get the SomeNews Live tickets here.


The SomeNews show has been toured round many comedy festivals including Edinburgh, Brighton, Nottingham and Manchester. Here's what the reviewers had to say:

"His improvisation was impressive, topical jokes quick and practised on his tongue. This is a tight, upbeat show that I would recommend going to see." - Broadway Baby

"Allen hits the mark more often than not, with an effusive mix of biting satire and gleeful mud-slinging that recalls Russell Howard by way of Ian Hislop. More than worth a look." ★★★★ - Three Weeks

"Well informed wit." - Latest7

"What was evident here, is the performer is quality, his mockery, and the excellent use of accents combined with clever voice-over interaction; is a performer with masses of talent." - Fringe Review


So, book now, and see the show in Leicester, February 22nd, 7:30pm.

This event is also listed on Ents 24.

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Hello, Steve here.

If you'd be willing to help out with spreading the word about this show please print off this poster and pop a copy up wherever you can in or around the Leicester area.

There are two formats. Print off the jpeg or the pdf.

Please don't put it anywhere where you're not meant to or where you'd get in trouble by doing so. But a window, a notice board at work, in the back of a car, so many places and it will all help.

Thanks,

Steve :o)

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[Radio Podcast] Dreams, Bieber & The Owen Paul Interview

On this week's radio show we talked about Justin Bieber's latest trouble because it's too fun not to, we asked about the odd dreams you have had, and we speak to the musician Owen Paul about how a song can change a life, his new music and a tweet. Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Sunday 26th January 2014.)

I'm back doing the show on Time 107.5 in Essex next Sunday from 7am till midday. For details on how to listen see this section. And I'm on radio Monday to Friday in Reading on Reading 107, 2pm to 7pm.



Download the mp3

    

To find more radio show minipodcasts see here.
And if you enjoyed that check out the SomeNews Topical Podcast.

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Man Shares Own Wanted Poster On Facebook

Today's knobhead award (and have you noticed how you can always find at least one every day) goes to Anthony James Lescowitch Jr - the American man who shared his own wanted picture on Facebook, and was promptly arrested 45 minutes later.

I'm sorry, but what a fool. He should have at least waited till someone offered a reward before catching himself, at least that way he'd get some money.

The police set up a sting operation to catch him where one officer posed as an attractive woman online (don't judge him, we've all done it) and struck up a conversation with Lescowitch. They arranged to "meet for a cigarette" and when Anthony turned up he was arrested. I still hope he got that cigarette, because where he's going that's the only currency.

Police in Pennsylvania had been looking for him for three months in connection with an assault on a man in July, and had put a picture of him online. He re-posted the picture just three minutes after the police, adding the comment: "Lol i f***ing love it, A**HOLE." Police spotted this straight away and caught him.

So, what's the moral of the story? Something about hubris and how pride comes before a fall? Nah. I think the moral is, if you post pictures of yourself online and meet up with attractive women there's a chance you could end up in handcuffs. So it's not all bad news out there.

>Read the source story

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[Radio Podcast] Pick Up Techniques & TV Shame

Today's show was about a German farmer who found a strange way to get a woman, but it worked, so we shouldn't judge, and David Cameron talked about watching too much TV, so we did the same. Here's the podcast of it for you to download/listen. (Originally broadcast on Sunday 19th January 2014.)

I'm back doing the show next Sunday from 7am till midday. For details on how to listen see this section.



Download the mp3

    

To find more radio show minipodcasts see here.
And if you enjoyed that check out the SomeNews Topical Podcast.

Read More

The Feamale Boss Tattoo - [Video]

The SomeNews Live Show is on every Tuesday in London on the Southbank. This week we have a clip about the woman whose Female Boss tattoo went wrong. You can see the video below or follow the link to see it on youTube.

Have a look...


Watch on YouTube, get it via bit torrent
See more videos from past SomeNews topical shows

You can subscribe to my YouTube channel to get these videos, or get them in your email by joining the SomeNewsletter list Subscribe to the vodcast with the RSS feed .

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