16/04/2012

Men With Guns Look Taller

How's this for some useful research? A study has found that when a man holds a gun he looks taller.

Excellent. And now all the short men will go out and buy a gun, and it's not like short men have anger issues or anything.

And how are we meant to use this info? Are young lads who don't quite qualify for the good rides at Alton Towers meant to pack some heat so they get to go on?

The people behind this study say it "probably occurs at a subconscious level". Probably? What else could it be? The only other explanation is that the guns actually look smaller in real life and it's perspective.

The research, funded by the U.S. Air Force, says the same effect may happen in chimpanzees. Are they saying that if you hold a gun a chimpanzee will think you're taller? How would they know what the chimpanzee thinks? They can't, which means, more worryingly, they're saying a chimp holding a gun looks taller to humans. They gave a gun to a chimp!

I'm amazed there wasn't a robbery at the local corner shop, you know how much they like PG Tips. And haven't the scientists seen Planet of the Apes? We're lucky they didn't bury the Statue of Libery.

It's worth remembering that holding a gun makes a primate look bigger. See this...



Looks like a chimp with a gun. Take the gun away, it's actually only a capuchin monkey.

>Read the source story
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