Have you seen them? They're in every town and they want to take a chunk out of you? No, I don't mean the charity muggers, I'm talking about the fish foot spa pedicures.What happens is you put your feet in a bowl of fish and they eat the dead skin off you. These fish eat you! Who discovered this? Who put their feet in a lake, saw some fish starting to eat them and thought, "I'm going to stay right here, see what happens?" If that guy sat in a piranha-infested lake he would've had a very different outcome.
Now we hear that these fish pedicures could spread diseases such as HIV and hepatitis C.
Wow! And what a rubbish way to get those diseases. "How did you contract hep C? What was it, lots of sex, lot's of drugs?" "Nah. I couldn't be bothered to use a pumice."
The government’s Health Protection Agency said the risk of infection for users of the increasingly popular treatment, in which dozens of tiny Garra Rufa fish nibble dead skin from their feet, is "low but could not be completely excluded".
I'm shocked by this. Something that's a bit fishy could give you hep C. *insert joke about sex with Pamela Anderson*
In new guidance to be published today, officials say those with diabetes, psoriasis or a weak immune system are particularly vulnerable and should not take part in the beauty craze at all.
I've never been a fan of this treatment. We have spent millennia evolving to the top of the food chain and now we turn ourselves into fish food. Talk about demotion.
And if they find out what we have been doing to their relatives like cod and sardines, they might take their revenge. And if that happens, at the very least Clarks would go out of business.
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