28/10/2012

Criminal Monkey Captured

Good news from Florida. A wild monkey that had attacked a 60-year-old woman has finally been caught after being on the run for 2 years.

It doesn't say much for the local police that a lesser primate managed to keep one step ahead of them for so long. And it says even less for any humans who attacked a 60-year-old and got caught sooner.

The monkey had recently jumped on an old lady and bit her in the neck. I know these monkeys are clever but I'm amazed it knew Halloween was coming up and that neck biting was part of a good costume.

It was caught when it fell for a trap. Some bananas were left as bait and when it went to take them it was shot by a tranquilliser dart. I bet it feels pretty stupid now. Bananas? Such a cliché.

Although, I have a theory that he didn't fall for the bait in the way they'd planned. The 2.5m-long cage, containing bananas as bait, was left near the house of Mrs Fowler, the OAP he went for. I don't think he was attracted by the bananas, he was attracted by the old lady.

He's short, hairy, less evolved and has a thing for old women. Congratulations America, you have a Wayne Rooney too.

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