Fifty Shades Causes Handcuff Trouble

Fire fighters have noticed a problem that's been caused by people reading EL James' Fifty Shades of Grey. And straight away you assume it's all those people who have been so angry about how badly written the books were who have gone out, burnt their copy and that's caused a fire that got out of hand. Thankfully, no.

The London Fire Brigade said since the Fifty Shades phase they have been called out to more incidents where someone has been stuck in handcuffs. It's a problem because it wastes the fire brigade's time, but on the plus side, if a kinky lady is all handcuffed up and loads of firemen turn up... sploosh!

They were called out to over 70 cases where people were stuck in handcuffs and nine instances of men with rings stuck on their penises. What an odd way to make a marriage proposal.

The Brigade said that in the past its crews have been called to a man whose penis was stuck in a toaster, and another with his penis trapped in a vacuum cleaner. Wow. Some men really are trying to impress their women, that's cooking and cleaning they were trying.

The Brigade advice was if you use handcuffs, always keep the keys handy. That can be tricky, because as soon as you've put them in the fruit bowl with everyone else's who knows who's got 'em.

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