08/08/2012

US Olympian Disqualified

Oh no. It happens every time but it is always a shock. An Olympic athlete has been disqualified for taking drugs. Tut. That's not the Olympic spirit, to use a drug to cheat. So, what drug did he use to get that competitive advantage? Marijuana!

What? How is that going to help? Unless they have added talking metaphysical balls as a team sport it's not a performance enhancing drug. If anything it's a performance worsening drug. If you want to make it harder for yourself, go for it. Feel free to also drink Ovaltine and sit down funny on your own nads before a game.

It was judo star Nick Delpopolo. How was "the weed" going to help him? He's meant to fight? He'll be going up to the other athletes and trying to hug them. That's not what you do in judo. That's what you do in sumo.

I suppose it's a health and safety thing. You don't want a black belt judo expert with the munchies. If you get between him and his Twix he will mess you up.

Delpopolo has apologised to organisers, fans and fellow athletes and accepted his expulsion. He claims he unwittingly ate a brownie that had been baked with the drug.

Someone spiked his brownie with weed? The Dutch competitor is looking pretty dodgy right now.

Hang on. A spiked brownie. He's a grown man. The only time grown men eat brownies is when there's some drugs in it. Or if he eats a brownie that doesn't contain marijuana, it's because he's just had the marijuana and now he's hungry

>Read the source story
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