Boyfriend In A Box

A man in China almost died when he tried to post himself to his girlfriend. It was always a risk. Even with the postcode there was always a chance he wouldn't be delivered to the right address. Or even more likely, she wouldn't be in so he'd be left in a neighbour's recycling box.

Hu Seng, from southern China, thought it would be a nice surprise for her birthday. "Surprise! I forgot to get you a gift so I just mailed myself!"

But he nearly suffocated to death after mailing himself to his girlfriend's office in a sealed box, which got lost in the post for three hours. Only three hours! Did he pay extra for that?

Firstly, make air holes, idiot. This is what happens when you grow up in a country without Blue Peter telling you how to bury your hibernating tortoises. And secondly, air holes, idiot!

When the box finally arrived, shocked girlfriend Li Wang unwrapped her enormous present to find Seng passed out and bystanders had to call paramedics to revive him.

Credit where it's due, I bet that came as a surprise for her. The tricky thing is, whenever you get someone a big gift you have to top it next year. So what can he do for her next birthday? He'll have to hire a lorry full of people being people trafficked into the UK.

I tried that once. Well, I told an ex I'd like to get in her box for my birthday. As I said, ex.

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