World's Bendiest Woman

I opened the newspaper to see images of Zlata, a Russian contortionist who is the "World's bendiest woman". I didn't see the headline and just though, "Oh my god, that looks like a painful accident. I hope she can sue."

But she's a former gymnast who now makes a living by showing off her flexibility. Well, she's gotta make ends meet.

Apparently she's broken several world records. If I tried to do what she does I think I could break a few things too.

Zlata is so flexible that she can cram herself into a 50cm squared box. She's the only person who can travel on Ryanair and find it roomy.

She said: "In Russia being flexible is a very good thing." Hey, in the West it's important to be flexible. Sometimes I have to work weekends.

Zlata added: "I don't really diet but I have to train very hard to keep my muscles in shape and to be as flexible as possible." I can't work out how to fit the phrase 'bending over backwards' into my reply to that, which is a shame as that's the only terrible pun I have left.

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