04/04/2012

In Defence Of Samantha Brick

Don't hate me because I am beautiful, and therefore you are not.Samantha Brick has been the talk of Twitter lately because of a bit she wrote in the Daily Mail. If you haven't read it, here is it. The headline was, "There are downsides to looking this pretty: Why women hate me for being beautiful". Since then the people of the Twittersphere have been saying nasty things about her.

Well, let me be the first one to stand up and defend Ms Brick. You don't know what it's like for people like Samantha and me. That's right, I too have suffered in silence. She says that being beautiful has cost her friends and stopped her getting promotions. I don't have any friends and my career is on its arse, so it can only mean one thing, I am also too beautiful.

She said she was on a flight and some well dressed man sent over a bottle of champagne. Well, I was on a flight once and the stewardess brought over an entire meal.

A nice surprise, right? Nope. It's a curse. I am so attractive that sometimes I have asked women out and they have just laughed in my face. Wow, jealous much?

Sometimes it is my own gender that is the worst culprit of this attractiveness hate-crime. In the past blokes at work have arranged a social night out and didn't invite me. OK, I know they'd be worried that when I'd turn up with my face all of the women in that bowling alley would ignore them and want some Stevie, but I'm not a monster, I'd leave some for them. They could pick up some spare. (Beautiful and I can do bowling jokes.)

They say beauty is only skin deep. It's a good job Sam and I have such thick skin then, because we need it with all we have to put up with.

I have tried my best to meet the world half way. I don't go to the gym and I often go out in a T-shirt that needed washing a few wears ago. I need glasses, carrying some spare fat and have developed some classic male pattern baldness and yet even with these measures still women nervously tell me to get lost.

I know this article may cause a backlash like Samantha got in the Daily Mail, but remember, don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Hate me because I'm deluded and I attribute the failings caused by my personality issues on the fact that I think I'm more attractive than everyone else. Yep, I am just like Samantha Brick.

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