15/05/2012

Mouth-To-Bum Resuscitation

This was a lovely little story in The Metro. It started: "A zoo keeper licked a Francois' leaf monkey's bottom for a full hour when he noticed it ate peanuts."

First off I thought, well, that's a strange punishment. How's the monkey meant to learn from that?

Apparently it saved the monkey's life. The 50-year-old man from China spotted the peanut shells on the ground and realised that the monkey could be about to die. So he started to lick its bottom.

I have to admit, I have been doing CPR wrong all my life.

He did it to make the monkey pass the peanuts more quickly. I am not going to dispute his theory, maybe it does work. But how do you discover that? The only way is that you were licking a monkey's bum one day and noticed it made the monkey do its toilet.

Either way, I have learned from this. The next time I'm on a plane, someone collapses with a potentially fatal peanut allergy, and the stewardess says, "Is there a doctor on board?" I'll have to say, "Forget the doctor. Does anyone know how to do a rusty trombone*?"

>Read the source story

* If you don't know what that is, don't Google it.
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