09/07/2012

Wimbledon 2012, As It Happened

I watched Wimbledon. I hadn't seen it before. I have to say, Paul Bettany was good as Murray but Kirsten Dunst did an amazing Roger Federer.

No, it was the men's final and as I watched I tweeted. So instead of writing about the final I thought I'd post the tweets I did that got retweeted, so as to give a real idea of what happened. The final started at 2pm. Here's what happened.




1:54pm
I'm getting nervous about #Wimbledon today. A British win at sport is one of the signs of the apocalypse.


2:10pm
Commentator says Andy has a chance cos they're on grass. I'm amazed they have the energy to do anything other than eat munchies


2:12pm
Federer let Andy get that first point. He's got someone betting on him in a nearby Ladbrooks.


2:19pm
So, Murray is winning. At the moment I am no longer in favour of Scottish independence.


2:25pm
They've swapped ends. Confusing. One should play in skins. There you go ladies, that one's for you.


2:27pm
Cliff Richard is there, ready to sing. They've got the roof now, you can go home!


2:28pm
Aaarrrggghhh!!!! #SirCliff RT @mark_heritage: @mrstevenallen Takes 30mins to close the roof; plenty of time for congratulations.


2:34pm
Those ball boys are so keen because they actually nick the balls and sell 'em onto JD Sports.


2:37pm
Why is the BBC showing the crowd applauding in slow motion? It's like a W.I. slow hand clap protest.


(BBC shows plaque of past winners)
2:38pm
Wow. Federer is a popular surname for good tennis players. What, you mean it was... good luck Murray!


2:43pm
Shame the #Wimbledon final isn't just half a game long. #BritishWinner


2:48pm
Commentator: "I didn't think the sun was going to be a problem but as you'll see from the shadows..." No, it's just Sir Cliff there.


3:03pm
Umpire: "Andy Murray has no challenges remaining." Apart from trying to beat that guy who is really good at tennis.


3:13pm
I think my TV's broken. Every time Murray serves it sounds like someone's fingering a chicken.


3:14pm
Murray's not trending but Victoria Beckham jiggles the boobs she's just finally paid off, and she's on the list.


3:27pm
I don't like that umpire. Always picking faults.


3:48pm
Umpire: "Advantage Federer..." cos he has the looks, the hair, the personality...


3:58pm
Ooooh, sloppy serving. It's like being in a Wetherspoons again.


4:00pm
I'm on the edge of my seat watching #Wimbledon. 2 hours of no rain in the UK. This is a record.


(The rain starts)
4:14pm
Putting the roof on #Wimbledon could take 23mins. Hmm, what could you do for 23mins? Podcast! k003.kiwi6.com/hotlink/0y9ujj… (via @penelopefriday )


4:16pm
Good crowd at #Wimbledon. They really raised the roof and... oh, nope, that was a motor doing that.


(They chat with the commentators.)
4:19pm
Last time Boris Becker was in a room that small it was a cupboard in a restaurant and he made a baby.


4:23pm
"Boris was the best indoor player." He was also the best in-cupboard playa!


(Play resumes. Andy is all over the place.)
5:04pm
He just got a text saying, "Andy, have you had an accident at work..."


5:06pm
This is no time for yoga Murray, focus!


5:14pm
Andy Murray doesn't look happy. That's not a comment on this #Wimbledon Final, it's more a statement of fact.


5:15pm
Andy Murray's mum doesn't look happy. That's not a comment on this #Wimbledon Final, it's more a statement of fact.


5:16pm
Victoria Beckham loves being on camera at #Wimbledon cos Murray and his mum are making her look happy.


5:16pm
Commentator: "The twins aren't here." I think Victoria Beckham tries to prove that wrong when the camera is on her.


5:24pm
David Cameron there, disapproving of the returns. Just like when he heard about Jimmy Carr's tax.


5:30pm
I'm not a tennis expert here but isn't Murray knocking the ball right back at Federer a lot?


5:38pm
I'm sat here, belly hanging out, eating pork pies while saying what Andy Murray is doing wrong at #Wimbledon. I am a true sports fan.


5:41pm
The camera shows us the Middleton sisters, and we're reminded there is one lucky chair in #Wimbledon today.


5:43pm
It's what we call "dual nationality". :) RT @Modernegezegden: If he wins he's British, if he loses he's Scottish. #Murray


5:53pm
If you watch #Wimbledon in 3D do they call you up when Federer or Murray challenges a decision?


6:02pm
I don't know what Murray's missus is looking so worried for. He made the final. That means she doesn't have to leave him yet.


(Final point)
6:14pm
Is it possible to make the net higher on Federer's side?


6:15pm
Well, that's it. It's #Wimbledone


6:17pm
Tut, Federer. Those darned Swiss, they come over here, taking our tennis titles...


6:19pm
Aw, Murray looks miserable. So It's good to see he hasn't been affected by it.


6:20pm
Well, there wasn't anything else Murray could've done. Federer was just #amazeboobs. Ah, he's 30, wait till his back goes.


(Andy Murray gives his speech)
6:22pm
Aw, he's crying. He's just found out how much the parking will cost him.


6:26pm
Murray's crying was so moving he's through to X Factor boot camp.
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