50 Shades of Beach Volleyball

First we hear that the travel arrangements in London might not be ready for the Olympics, the M4 was closed and G4S totally messed up Olympic security. But now we hear the worse news about the sporting events at London 2012. Olympic beach volleyball players to be allowed to wear more clothes!

The first response is to think, "Well that's ruined the game. You only watch women's beach volleyball because you want to see some arse. It's the same reason you watch John Terry play." Beach volleyball without the sexy outfits is just a few silly shaped racquets away from badminton, and who watches that?

But on seconds thoughts, I didn't realise the volleyballers were forced to wear such sexy outfits. I didn't realise volleyball was run by some Jabba The Hutt figure who made the women wear bikinis. Next we'll spot the chains round their necks.

The International Volleyball Federation (FIVB) has said it will allow shorts and sleeved tops at the 2012 Games, along with the traditional bikinis and body suits already permitted.

The more you think about it, the more forcing Olympians to wear sexy clothing is out of order. It's not meant to be like Babestation. Although Babestation would probably cost us a lot less.

Isn't this a worrying president to set? We could see other sports bring in sexually explicit dress codes and that would not be a good idea. Three words: Topless men's darts!

Or what about No Pants Triple Jump? The men's event would be hilarious to watch but that's not what it's meant to be.

Totally naked weight lifting would be a mixed bag. It would be gross but you'd be able to tell which men have been on steroids just by looking.

And if it spreads to other sports, trouserless snooker would be unwatchable thanks to the camera angles when they're taking a tricky shot.

The modified rule will now permit "shorts of a maximum length of three centimetres (1.18 inches) above the knee, and sleeved or sleeveless tops."

So they are still forced to show quite a lot of flesh. It seems like a pointless rule that only succeeds in stopping the ladies' fundamentalist Muslim team from playing the game. And stopping the women from doing that is exactly what the fundamentalist Muslim team is happy with.

>Read the source story


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