18/07/2012

Woman Whose Ass Could Kill

Junk in the trunkAt a time when the Olympics could face security threats, the coalition government could be falling apart and we're finding out our banks have been robbing us all, the Daily Star's front page is all about the butt.

They have a picture of a woman who has spent over £10,000 getting a bigger bum. It seems a waste. She could've had my big bum, because I don't want it. It cost me far less than £10,000 to get this big backside, although that's because I developed it before Gregg's had to charge VAT.

Her name is Vanity Wonder, which is the perfect description for her. Apparently this large bottom she has could yet kill her. And probably also anyone who gets under it.

She got that big botty by using black market silicone injections from dodgy doctors. You shouldn't do that. You shouldn't let strange men just shove whatever they want into your buttocks. And if you are OK with that... call me, y'know.

Vanity said: "It did become addictive..." She was addicted do getting a bigger bum. Is that what they mean by doing crack?

She went on: "It reached a point when it got infected. I was left with all these lumps all over my butt, it looked like a bag of oranges, so I had a choice. I could stay with this medium sized lumpy butt or keep padding it with silicone to make it look better, but whenever you pad it, it just keeps getting bigger."

I think she made the right choice, because what man wouldn't want to be with her. It's like she's got a built-in shelf to hold a pint.



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