On the front page of the Daily Mail today: "School Leavers Unfit For Work"
This is the story of a top businessman who says school leavers are unfit for work with firms having to spend billions to retrain them.
The paper is dealing with this story like it's a bad thing. It's great. Don't forget we all now need to work till we're 90 because no one has pensions any more. As you get older in life, but still need a job, why would an employer keep you on rather than get rid of you and hire someone younger? Because they're all unemployable scum. That's why!
Making sure school leavers can't add up and they all think you should spell it "nessessery" is the only way we'll keep our jobs.
It's all very well for the millionaires of this world, like Jamie Oliver, to be helping these young tearaways because they won't need to beat then in a job interview in 2030.
So the next time a young person shouts something rude to you, in a sentence that uses an adjective where an adverb is needed, peppered with the word "like" and finished off with a "ja get me", just smile and know that your career is safe.