28/09/2012

Woman With 8-Hour Orgasms

There's a story in the news about a woman who suffers from a rare medical condition who has multiple orgasms that last for up to 8 hours.

That might seem like a good thing at first but the more you think about it the worse it gets. As a bloke the idea of an 8 hour orgasm is terrifying. It would mean losing so much fluid I'd look like a human sultana. Unless it would be possible to drink protein shakes quick enough to keep up, but then I'd be like a sex version of a cherub water-feature.

And an 8-hour orgasm for a woman may be less life-threatening but imagine the hassle when she doesn't have one but feels she should fake one to spare the man's feelings. That's a longer performance than Ken Dodd does.

The married mum – who was in a TV documentary – faces a constant battle to avoid erotic urges after being diagnosed with Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome.

Well, she's married, so that should help.

She said, "If I had no self-control I don't know if I would ever leave the house. Whereas most women are like 'Not tonight honey, I have a headache', I am always: 'Okay – let's go!'"

So by her own logic all she needs to do is give herself a headache every night and she'll be fine. I have a Celine Dion CD that always works for me.

It said in the newspaper: "Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome is known to affect less than 100 women worldwide – although many victims suffer in silence and new cases are being diagnosed all the time."

Well, when they say "silence". There is probably some noise like, "Oooh " and "Ah". I know what one sounds like, honest.

Another sufferer featured in a TV documentary on this condition said: "I think there are a lot more women out there than anyone can imagine - who are too ashamed or embarrassed - who think they are the only ones."

Or too busy enjoying the porking.

She said she was left fuming when one inconsiderate medic laughed at her. She said: "He had a good snigger about it. I said it's not funny, how would you like it if you had to walk around with an erection 24 hours a day?"

She's right, that would be terrible. God, I'd hate to be a teenager again.

>Read the source story
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