10/09/2012

Kristen Stewart's Lickable Armpits

Kristen Stewart is in Vogue and in there we find out some details about her former relationship with Robert Pattinson. Apparently he used to like to lick her armpits.

I know what you're thinking, "That's wrong." But it's not as wrong as being unfaithful with married film director Rupert Sanders, just to put it into perspective.

She said it was because they enjoyed each other's smell. I guess that makes sense. It's the logical conclusion to all those Impulse and Lynx adverts. If members of the opposite sex are willing to run through traffic just because of your deodorant when they get there they'll tuck in to where you sprayed it.

I should point out that the last paragraph is not based on any real science, before blokes start spraying full cans if Lynx Africa down their pants.

But it does seem odd. In fact it's on my small list of "things I can knock before I try". Besides, even if I wanted to try it I don't have Kristen's number.

May be it was method acting. Robert played the vampire Edward in Twilight. For a vampire licking under Bella's armpit is like when we dip our finger in soup for a taste.

So, for all of those girls who went weak at the knees thinking about being with Edward, remember he'd be licking your armpits whenever he got peckish. But Jacob was like a dog, and they go round sniffing the bums of anyone they fancy, so maybe the armpit licker is the lesser if two evils.

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