Heck, just get smaller doors.
Figures published on Friday showed that weight loss surgery has risen almost 785% in less than five years, according to NHS Information Centre research.
Some of that will include the very popular gastric band surgery, where they basically put a big elastic band round your innards. It means you can't eat as much because if you do it will ping off and launch your duodenum out of your bum-hole. I should state, I am not a doctor.
It also includes stomach stapling, which is very serious surgery. I'd opt for the less serious stomach paper-clipping.
National Obesity Forum spokeswoman Tam Fry argued that doctors are going ahead with the surgery without insisting patients seek lifestyle changes and pharmaceutical treatment first.
Yeah, we should be doing all we can to help these people break their addiction to food before we cut them up. But let me tell you one thing that isn't helping, having a National Obesity Forum spokeswoman called "Fry".
That's like having a spokeswoman for the National Alcohol Forum called Winehouse... for so many reasons.
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