Venezuela is running out of toilet roll. It's causing a national panic. Now is not a good time to be a Labrador puppy over there, you could be shot on sight.
People over there have been panic buying loo roll. It's tricky, because you don't want to panic too much, or you'll have an accident and use up all your supply.
The paper shortage is an embarrassing episode for new president Nicolas Maduro, who was chosen as Hugo Chavez’s successor before the iconic leader’s death in March. He has to be careful how he plays this. Take a lead from Marie Antoinette and don't say, "Let them use a bidet."
One person caught up in this told a journalist, "I’ve been looking for it for two weeks. I was told that they had some here and now I’m in line."
It just makes you realise how lucky we are. Even the people suffering in the Eurozone countries don't have that problem. In fact, as the Euro fails and the notes are worth the paper they're printed on, if anything they have more paper to wipe their arses with.
The government has promised to import 50 million rolls in the next few weeks and has blamed the shortage on anti-Maduro forces attempting to destabilise the country.
Yes. If I wanted to bring down a nation I'd do it by cutting off their bog roll supply. You know what they say, "society is two meals away from anarchy". I think it's probably two poos away from it too.
Wardrobe malfunctions had been out of the news for a while. I never liked the phrase. It sounded more like it was the briefest précis of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe ever.
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Another headline that caught my eye tells of "Men Overcome by 'Dangerous' Toilet Fumes". Let's be honest, we've all had that. And I don't just mean from something you ate. Forget to flush after you've put bleach down, go for gold and you can make chlorine gas. That's either real science or something I dreamed once. Either way, it's a worry.
According to a new survey 94% of Brits would rather live without sex than their mobile phone.
Every week at The Monday Night News Show in London SomeNews.co.uk goes live.
To Prague, where there are plans to run an underground train for people to try and find someone to pull. It's a special "love train". Or if you're the kind of perv who enjoys rubbing your crotch into the person in front of you during rush hour, it's just like every other train.
Venezuela is running out of toilet roll. It's causing a national panic. Now is not a good time to be a Labrador puppy over there, you could be shot on sight.
I covered another radio show, and if you missed it (or even if you didn't) here are some of the bits from it. It was broadcast on Friday 17th of May 2013.
A man in Sweden has died after having sex with a hornet's nest.
I covered another radio show, and if you missed it (or even if you didn't) here are some of the bits from it. It was broadcast on Thursday 16th of May 2013.
I was lucky enough to get to chat to Tom Fletcher, aka Tom from McFly. He's very tech-savvy, and by that I mean he's a bit of a social media expert. I'm a massive social media obsessive, so we ended up talking about that. Have a listen.
My favourite headline of the day, from the Express...
I covered another radio show, and if you missed it (or even if you didn't) here are some of the bits from it. It was broadcast on Tuesday 14th of May 2013.
Nearly a third of people would rather do housework or go to a Justin Bieber concert that do physical exercise, according to what I can only assume was a badly worded survey.
I covered another radio show, and if you missed it (or even if you didn't) here are some of the bits from it. It was broadcast on Monday 13th of May 2013.
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