Common-unhealth Games

Just when you thought the Commonwealth Games couldn't be more of a disaster, the organisers have had to investigate the water quality at the event's swimming venue in New Delhi following reports that competitors had fallen ill. And by fallen ill we mean... the shits. Yep, it wasn't just the track athletes who were doing the 100-metres dash. They're just having the standard experience of any Brit abroad. We always get the runs. If they lose their luggage on the flight back and buy a stuffed donkey it would be like every holiday I've had. Swimmers from Australia and England were among those hit by stomach viruses. That's bad luck. Of all the events swimming is the worst one to do if you have the squits. If you're a runner and you crap your pants you can just about get away with it. At the very least you'd run away from the smell. If you're a swimmer you'll leave trail behind you. I bet the synchronised swimmers on the front of today's FT are grateful for those little nose clips they wear.

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