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06/10/2010
Cheryl's Death Threats
Today we see the headline: Cheryl Death Threats.
I thought, "On no. Has she been having a go at the toilet attendant again?"
But no, as it turns out the story is about Cheryl Cole getting the death threats. It's all because she sent Gamu home and put Cher through to the next stage of X Factor.
Some people are saying that Cheryl is racist but I don't think that's fair. I'm sure she'd hit toilet attendants of any creed or colour. She sees anyone who's beneath her as all the same.
One threat carried the terrifying warning: "Every1 has a bullet for you. Wat u have now done is f*** up every white girls lives who's silly mothers dat named der child cheryl. Cuz I'm just going to f***** bang drop dem and dey won't even know why."
That is just shocking. Can't anyone use proper grammar these days? Tut!
The best bit in the newspaper is where they reprint part of the death treat. The author of the note talks about Gamu but calls her Gambu. The newspaper people want to reprint the error but they don't want you to think it was their typo, so they use a well known annotation. They put:
"I've never felt like dis over xfactor until u told gambu (sic) she is not going to the live show."
And all the kids reading that are thinking, "Yeah, dat's right. She is well sic bruv!"