According to the Telegraph, all over-45s should take a daily dose of aspirin.I agree. I'm only in my thirties and already I find kids today too noisy. If I were over 45 I'd have a pounding headache from all those kids walking round listening to music on their mobile phone speakers. And when you go in a coffee shop you have to pause mid-sentence when some kids orders a drink make from crushed ice. It's winter! Stop it!
Or even better, get yourself a Mr Frosty and stay at home. And then you can play music on a proper speaker and stop bothering society.New academic research shows that that the benefits for many healthy middle-aged and older people "far outweigh" the side effects of taking aspirin.
One of the main side effects of taking aspirin everyday is divorce. Because if a husband wants to get frisky with his wife who's over 45, and she says, "No dear, I have a headache..."
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