Front page of the Sunday Telegraph had this headline: "The Pope approves use of condoms to fight Aids."
It seems like he's going to lengths to point out that they should only be used to fight Aids, nothing else. So if you're a drugs mule, this is not for you.
It will be tricky to use a condom to only stop Aids but not stop pregnancy. It'll require a centrifuge, a turkey baster and luck.
The paper says the Pope will signal a historic shift in the position of the Roman Catholic Church this week by saying condoms can be morally justified... but only if you have Aids?
What kind of moral guidance is that? If you want to use a condom you'd better get yourself some Aids. We'll find teenage Catholics watching the film Philadelphia saying, "Lucky b*****d!"