Good Excuses For No TV Licence

The TV Licensing people have revealed the most implausible excuses gathered over the last 12 months for not having a TV Licence.

I'm assuming none of these excuses actually paid off but it's worth remembering that they keep a list. If you get done for not having a TV licence you might as well come up with some impressive lie. You'll still get a fine but at least you'll get into a newspaper about a year later.

Here are the top ten:

1: "A pigeon fell down the chimney and broke the aerial so I have bad reception."

And then I imagine as the guy was saying that his dog, Mutley, was laughing in the background.

2: "My 11-year-old son must have bought the TV during the night. It wasn't there when I went to bed."

Or he got it in a London riot, more like!

3: "My payment card's been stuck in the washing machine so I can't pay."

Tut. Money laundering!

4: "I've not paid due to my shop only accepting £5 and £10 notes and I haven't got any of those."

Or 20s, or 50s... or any other money.

5: "I've not been making payments as a baby magpie flew into my house and I had to stay in and feed it until it was OK."

Don't do it. You know what magpies are like. They send the baby in to keep you distracted while the older magpies nick your stuff. It's distraction burglary.

6: "I only use the TV to keep the horses company and one of them is blind so I should only pay half if I have to pay at all."

He's got a good point. But maybe, he should've just bought a radio.

7: "I can't get the TV out of the box – can you help me?"

Nah. Just watch the cardboard box. It'll be as good as a Jordan reality TV show.

8: "My dog that watches it when I'm at work to keep him company - not me."

Oh, so you need a dog licence.

9: "My mum told me to tell you she's not in."

Admittedly, that was said when they visited Norman Bates.

10: "I've not bought a licence as I dreamt I didn't have to and the saying is you've to follow your dreams."

Good point. And that's why I often turn up to work totally naked.

>Read the source story

Q: What's the best excuse you have ever give or heard? Leave your answers in the comments please.


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