08/07/2011

Egg Throwing A Sport?

The egg throwing official body (yes, there is such a thing) wants egg throwing to be included as an Olympic sport. Oh no. Bad idea.

Let me first say, hey, I like sport and I like eggs, so I'm not bringing any prejudice to this. I just don't think egg throwing should be in the Olympics.

It's not a sport. It's little more than a heckle. It's what people do to Tony Blair and John Prescott; let's not make them technically athletes.

And it's a waste of a good egg. It could've been destined to be a lovely omelette or part of a full English, till some wally in a rain coat lobs it. Think of what a chicken had to go through to make that egg and you'd have a bit more respect.

It's high-risk as well. Most sports have common injuries like a groin strain or a broken metatarsal, this is the only sport with a risk of salmonella.

This can't be the thing we add to the Olympics. The rest of the world already thinks we're a laughing stock, this wouldn't help. The Americans joke about our cuisine. If they see us throw eggs they'll think, "With their cooking, it's the best thing they could do with it."

Egg throwing is just as embarrassing cheese rolling. In fact, when it comes to sport, your mother was right, DON'T PLAY WITH YOUR FOOD!

I thought rowing was embarrassing because there's someone in the boat called the cox, this is a sport where one of the positions is called 'the tosser'. Come on, you're not helping.

And if I'm wrong and it does become an Olympic sport, all that will happen if it becomes a sport is that we'll teach the rest of the world to play so they can come back and beat us at it.

Basically, unless you're Gordon Ramsay on a strop, you shouldn't be throwing eggs. End of.
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