The Bill Gates Toilet

The man who reinvented computers and made PCs a household item in most wealthy nations, Microsoft tycoon turned philanthropist Bill Gates, is now focusing his attention on reinventing the toilet.

It makes perfect sense in a historical setting. Centuries ago people used windows and now they use toilets, so he's just following on.

The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation is pledging millions of dollars in grants to reinvent the toilet to try to help Africa's sanitation issues.

It's an honourable goal, but would you really want a toilet that runs like the Windows operating system? Windows takes 5 minutes to open. I don't know if it's just my diet, but I can't always wait that long for the loo.

I don't want to have to download security updates for the toilet all the time to try and plug some obvious holes that should've been spotted before it was released.

And I don't want a toilet that, like Windows, leaves me at a high risk of getting a virus.

Just think if they don't stop at household toilets. What if they bring out a Microsoft pub urinal? Sometimes, when it's busy it can be a little hard to actually start urinating. If you waited a few seconds you'd get that bloody paper-clip, "It looks like you're trying to do a wee."

Anyway, it doesn't really matter if Bill Gates reinvents the toilet because in a few years time Steve Jobbs will finally live up to his name and release the far more stylish iPoop.

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