A rising number of children are said to be starting school not knowing their own name.Wow! How drunk are these kids!
Oh, I see. These 3-to-4-year-olds haven't even been taught their names by the parents. That's terrible. It never happened in my day. But then I went to school with a lot of Ians, 2 Daves and at least 4 Jims. They aren't tricky names. But thanks to the celeb-inspired trend for strange names these kids don't stand a chance.
Take, for example, the Beckhams' new baby Harper Seven. She'll have to learn to count before she can work out what she's called.
And if you're a Geldof you probably tried your best to forget your name.
Anecdotal evidence from head teachers says more kids arrive for their first day at school unable to recognise their name when it is called out in class. It's thought it is because they come from families where they are just sat in front of the TV all day instead of being interacted with by their parents.
Well don't worry. Yes, they may start their schooling a little behind when it comes to using their own name, but when they're grown up they'll be using it a lot. It'll be on their name badge just under their 5 stars.
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