18/01/2013

Fifty Shades of Every Bloody Thing

Since Fifty Shades of Gray made a big splash (consider rephrasing) it has become a marketing empire. EL James (the author not some Spanish bloke) has got the trademark on the term Fifty Shades and has brought out a range of merchandise. It's the marketing model that made Star Wars such a financial success. Only Fifty Shades won't bring out a light sabre that makes a humming noise. Although they'll have something very similar.

Other Fifty Shades items include a board game (roll a 6 and you DO go to jail), soap (to drop after you've rolled a 6?) and even marriage guidance ("Sometimes I feel like we don't really talk anymore." "I had a ball gag in!").

Three months after the original trademark claim EL put in a second application for a few items she missed. The first was sexual lubricant. How did she forget that?!  How do you remember the soap but forget the sexual lubricant? This was a trademark application, not packing for holiday.

The second thing she missed was even stranger; kitchen utensils. If you went round to another couple's house for dinner and they served you with their Fifty Shades spatula you'd spend the whole meal thinking about where it's been.

And when she says, "I'll just toss the salad," ...run!

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